MATT: Hello everyone, and welcome to tonight’sepisode of Critical Role, where a bunch of us– Fuck. Bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sitaround and play Dungeons & Dragons. That’s how to start the year. Well done. Welcome. We missed youguys. Happy new year. TRAVIS: 2019! MATT: We’re here. LIAM: We’re really glad to be back. MATT: Holidays were way too short. Or way toolong, or both, depending. Anyway, we’re back and as part of that, we’re going to kick in first withour announcements before we get into tonight’s episode. First and foremost, we have our fantasticreturning sponsor going into the second year of their support of our campaign here in Wildemount:D&D Beyond. ALL: D&D Beyond! SAM: So guys, I know we don’t get political onthis show a lot. This is a place where we can get lost in the story and the characters and not thinkabout government shutdowns or Dems or Republicans and all that. But tonight, I’m going to change allthat. I’m going political. Not just political, I’m going super political, because tonight– it’s abig announcement– I’m going to announce my candidacy. I’m running a campaign. I’m going torun for the office of president of D&D Beyond. This is not a joke. I am running a year-longcampaign that will culminate in a vote, and you will elect, I hope, me to be the president of D&DBeyond. You might have questions. First of all, is there a president of D&D Beyond? I don’t know. Isit an elected office? Probably not. But that doesn’t matter to me, because I am driven to makethis happen. Tonight, I’m going to kick off my campaign as every great campaign does– play thatmusic– with a rousing inspirational campaign speech. Ahem. When in the course of tabletop RPGsit becomes necessary to throw off the shackles of paper and pencil and assume the organizationalpowers of the iPad, we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all player characters arecreated equal, except bards, who are more awesome. That all monsters shall be organized, not by thecolor of their skin, but by the challenge rating of their character. That all people enjoy freedomof religion, except in Wildemount because they be assholes. That monks somehow be allowed to attack,like, 14 times a round. And that everyone sign up for D&D Beyond. MARISHA: Yes! SAM: For too long D&D Beyond has suffered underthe terrible leadership of… someone? I didn’t look it up, but whoever they are I know they havefailed. For example, have you seen the guy they’ve tapped to do their advertising? Terrible. Friends,if you elect me, I will– insert campaign promise here. Now, I don’t know what my campaign promisesare, but I will for the next rally. Ooh, and slogans! I need a slogan, and you guys can help.Something like “Make Exandria Great Again,” or “I “Like Pike,” or “We are All the Sam We Believe In,”or something? If you have a good slogan for me for my campaign, go on Twitter and Tweet it to@DnDBeyond with the hashtag #SamForPresident. In conclusion– conclusion, conclusion, conclusion– TRAVIS: It’s that empty in there, huh? SAM: What do we have to fear but fear itself?Those who refuse to learn from history are doomed to televise the revolution. So ask not what yourcountry can do for you, let them eat cake. And Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! Thank you, and godbless D&D Beyond. (cheering and applause) TRAVIS: Where’s the wave? There you go! SAM: There’ll be more campaign events as the yearprogresses. I’ll need to choose a campaign manager. I’ll need some slogans, I’ll need somelogos. One of you will be running against me. We’ll find this out as the year progresses. TRAVIS: If you lose, will there be a concessionspeech? SAM: I won’t lose. TRAVIS: Oh, okay. LAURA: What if none of us want to write a speech? SAM: I’ll get Dani Carr to do it. LAURA: Sweet. MATT: All right. Thank you very much, Sam. Andthank you, D&D Beyond. All right. LAURA: Sorry. LIAM: And also sorry. MATT: Also really sorry for everything. Sorrywhoever might be the president of D&D Beyond, so sorry. Probably someone at Curse. TRAVIS: Sitting at his desk, paranoid, lookingover his shoulder now. MATT: With the new year, we have a bunch new showscoming up. You can join us on Tuesday, January 15, next week at 4:00pm Pacific attwitch.tv/criticalrole for MAME Drop, a new show
next week at 4:00pm Pacific attwitch.tv/criticalrole for MAME Drop, a new show in which we come in and mess around with thedelightful MAME cabinet that we created as part of All Work No Play. Super incredible, cutting-edgetechnology that was really cool about ten years ago. But it took this long for me to actually get onein my mitts and I’m super excited about it. It’s awesome! It’s the best. LAURA: I thought you said cutting-ass technology. MATT: It cuts the ass, let me tell you. SAM: It should be the phrase. MATT: Yeah. On Wednesday, January 23 at 5:00pmPacific on our Twitch channel, you can tune in for Pub Draw, a new creative series featuring BabsTarr, fantastic artist and friend of the show and the channel, doing fantastic lessons on how todraw various things. MARISHA: Make sure there’s no titties, you can’tshow nips. Nope, this is fine. MATT: Oh, is that Ciri? LIAM: (whispering) It’s all titties! MATT: That’s awesome! MARISHA: Yes, it is. That’s totally Ciri. Thereyou go. MATT: I have Witcher-vision. Getting more so withthe gray patch. I haven’t grown this out in a long time, and when it comes out, and I’m like, “Oh,I’m getting old. Oh boy.” LAURA: You didn’t know it was going to be there? MATT: I knew I was starting to get a little gray,but– TALIESIN: Every time you do one, it’s a brand newsurprise. LAURA: That’s exciting. TRAVIS: It’s just straight wisdom. That’s all itis. MATT: Tackling with your mortality. Finally,Between The Sheets is coming back, folks. Super excited. Join us for the first episode of seasontwo on Monday, January 28th at 7:00pm Pacific here at twitch.tv/criticalrole. We have a lot of reallyawesome guests lined up for this. Super excited to announce. Nothing yet. Keep an eye on our socialmedia and such for announcements as they come. Also, next week, January 18th through January20th, we have our first Critical Role art gallery, celebrating the fantastic community artists thathave been there from day one and then some that have done incredible art pieces that are going tobe on display as a part of the Art of Exandria art show. I’ve been wanting to do this for years. Wefinally are able to put it together. Seeing some of the art was starting to be putting up. LIAM: We were at the gallery yesterday looking atstuff blown up. We’re going to be back tomorrow looking at other stuff blown up and it wasoverwhelming to see the art that you guys have made blown up larger than life. It’s going to beemotional. MATT: Over 50 pieces of art will be on display atthe gallery throughout that entire weekend from Friday to Sunday of next week. Come and check itout. That’s at Gallery Nucleus. You can look for all the info you need about it oncritrole.com/events. And I believe with that– LIAM: Wait! MATT: Whoa. Wait. LIAM: I don’t have an announcement, but I justwant to thank a couple of people. First, I want to thank @chaotic_redhead on Twitter– not MarishaRay, a different one– for sending in this great hat right here. We got this one. SAM: You could use that tonight MATT: That’s awesome. LIAM: That’s not the last one. There were fouroctopus hats sent in today. Two were for me, and two were for Brian Foster. MATT: This is magnificent. LIAM: Look at this. LAURA: Oh my god! LIAM: Amazingness. This one– MARISHA: Work it. LIAM: This one, oh I tell you, this one is fromKnitting Batman on Instagram. No, I cannot see. No, I can see! MARISHA: That’s the point of all of this. LIAM: Yeah. As you were, Matthew. TRAVIS: Leave it on. Please, leave it on. LAURA: It looks like beautiful curls. TRAVIS: I want to have a dramatic interaction withthat, please!
TRAVIS: I want to have a dramatic interaction withthat, please! MATT: Find Familiar is now the best feat or bestspell. So hold that because I’m going to hold that to you whenever you start using Frumpkin in thatway. Keep it on standby. All right. I believe now, without further ado, let’s jump in to the first2019 episode of Critical Role. [water bubbling] [thunder] [explosion] (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! [dramatic Critical Role theme] LAURA: Roll the dice! (singing) The adventurebegins, they were always beside you, your nerdy best friends, and the DM to guide you. And theyrise from the flames for the battles ahead. Villains beware ’cause you’re about to be dead. ASHLEY: (singing) They got magic and flair, theygot falchions and cunning. They don’t see over there there’s a monster incoming. Inspiration iswaiting, rise up, don’t think twice. Put your fate in your hands, take a chance, roll the dice! (chanting) Role! Critical! Role! ASHLEY and LAURA: (singing) Can you answer thecall? Diggin’ deep in your soul as the legend unfolds. Now it’s your turn to roll! [fire burning] MATT: Welcome back. Last we left off, The MightyNein after surviving their encounters in Darktow, traveling to and from Urukayxl and managing torelease one of the gathered orbs of Uk’otoa’s sealing. You made your way to the depths of theDiver’s Grave and recovered the third of these orbs that you’ve come across. Two of which nowreside within Fjord’s person. You then proceeded on towards what you believed to be the location ofone of these temples through a series of visions you’ve had by Uk’otoa. I knew it was coming. Youmade your way towards this archipelago. Looked around, set your ship in the center, cast WaterBreathing on the group, and you all dove down beneath the waters and found this slightly angledruin. This partially crumbled temple that sits there at the base of the ocean floor. You sawlong, straggling pieces of seaweed slowly waving with the water and what looked to be drownedbodies tangled in them that upon your approach, began to clamber towards you. You fought off anumber of them, managed to clear that space and then investigate within the interior of thistemple tower. Looking inside with a bit of light, there looked to be some sort of large, mutantcrustacean-like creatures all gathered up on the inside. Not entirely certain of the number, just aseries of claws and armor and barnacles. Backing away, you all just set yourselves on the oceanfloor about 50, 60 feet away from the base doorway. And that’s where we left off. So MightyNein, let’s go ahead and roll initiative. TRAVIS: Oh shit, just getting in it. LIAM: I forgot how to play. LAURA: I know. I did, too! MATT: Well, you better hurry up quickly. LAURA: Oh no! LIAM: Oh, I rolled a natural 20! I did it. Iremembered. SAM: Wow! TRAVIS: Did you really? LIAM: Yes, I did! TRAVIS: That’s amazing. SAM: Are we all at the top of the tower? Are someof us at the bottom of the tower? TRAVIS: That’s totally an Ashley roll. Jesus. SAM and LAURA: Whoa! TALIESIN and LAURA: (humming the intro to “Underthe Sea”) TRAVIS: Under the sea– LAURA: Aw, see? That should’ve been on yourplaylist. SAM: Next one. MATT: Organize yourself where you would like to bein this area. SAM: Were we all together? We were all together atthe base of the tower. MATT: You said you were all together about 50 to60 feet away from the base of the tower. LIAM: This is after lighting up the inside andthen backing away from it? Is that how it went down? MATT: You were clambering on top of it, lookedinside, and then moved off of the edge. LAURA: That’s the door that I’m seeing righthere? TRAVIS: Yeah, we sent in the dead guy through thatdoor. Is it just on the other side of this greefy.
puzzle warehouse TRAVIS: Yeah, we sent in the dead guy through thatdoor. Is it just on the other side of this greefy.
TRAVIS: Yeah, we sent in the dead guy through thatdoor. Is it just on the other side of this greefy. Greefy? Sure. LAURA: The greefy right there? Yeah. MATT: A little greefy? Like that greefy? TRAVIS: I like the water. I like the water! SAM: Is there a door on the other side? TRAVIS: We should kick up a bunch of sediment andhide! MATT: What you know right now there’s just thisone door here and a lot of cracked sections of the stone. LAURA: Didn’t we have– No. Did we? Was that adifferent time? TRAVIS: What? LAURA: Our seaweed stealths. TRAVIS: We did coming up to this. LIAM: That was earlier. LAURA: Okay. TRAVIS: I think it’s been ten minutes. MATT: Initiatives. 25 to 20? MARISHA: 22. LIAM: 21. SAM: 22! MARISHA: Ooh! TRAVIS: Damn! SAM: Look at all of us! LAURA: This tastes like salisbury steak. SAM: You eat a hamburger with a fork and knife? LAURA: It’s really messy! SAM: Are you a communist? TRAVIS: Pay attention! MATT: 20 to 15? TRAVIS: Nobody 20 to 15? SAM: Oh boy. MARISHA: Okay, okay. TALIESIN: Tiny violin. MATT: 15 to ten? TRAVIS: 12. LAURA and TALIESIN: 11. MATT: All right. Fjord, Jester, and Caduceus. TRAVIS: Yasha rolled a seven. Sorry, Ashley. SAM: We haven’t been attacked yet. We just heard acommotion inside? MATT: Correct. SAM: Okay. TRAVIS: (laughing) That is such a benign”Correct.” Sure, nothing wrong here in the middle of initiative. MATT: Beau, Nott? You guys are up first. Nott hasa higher dexterity, so technically, you can go first unless you want to coordinate somethingtogether. SAM: What are we doing? MARISHA: What are we doing? What’s happening? SAM: Should we go in and investigate through oneof these cracks? MARISHA: Do you want to flank and we can kind ofpeek in? SAM: Sure. MARISHA: Do a little scouting? TRAVIS: I mean, clearly the top is the damage,right? SAM: Is the damage? What does that mean? TRAVIS: Well, I mean, they’re big we think,right? TALIESIN: We saw them. TRAVIS: They’re not going to come through thatlittle door, right? MARISHA: The crustacean things? TRAVIS: The crustacean things. Of which, I thinkthere are three. TALIESIN: We don’t know how many. There were a lotof them moving around. MATT: You saw a lot of movement inside.
MATT: You saw a lot of movement inside. SAM: Why don’t we get close to the door in casesomething comes out, and we’ll ready our attacks? MARISHA: Okay. TALIESIN: I was going to say, it’s been a while. Ithought the plan was to draw things out through the door. TRAVIS: It was. TALIESIN: Okay. SAM: Oh! Then that’s works well for our previouslyaforementioned plan. MARISHA: Yeah, let’s do that. Nott and I will getin position, flank the door, and hold our attacks in case something runs out. SAM: If we can get that far. MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: 15, 20 for you for one movement. MARISHA: Go ahead and use my bonus. MATT: You can use your action to get over here ifyou want to, or you can use a ki point and bonus because it’s half movement. MARISHA: Right, and then hold my action. Right? SoI’ll do that and use a ki point. MATT: Okay. Nott? SAM: I will use action and bonus to get overthere-ish. How far can I get? MATT: That’s as far as you can get. SAM: Okay. And I’m somewhat obscured by theaquarium? MATT: Maybe. SAM: Okay, and I’ll hold action of the TinkertopBoltblaster in case anything comes out. MATT: You guys slowly bound along the seafloor,your feet gently pushing into the silt soft against the base of your foot. You both flankaround each side of the open doorway, preparing yourselves for any sort of physical interaction.Ending both your turns, that brings us to Caleb. What are you doing? LIAM: I am going to use my movement to get behindthis rock, and I am going to, about 30 feet away from Nott, hold the Haste spell for the moment Isee her starting to attack something. MATT: To Beau? LIAM: No, to Nott. MATT: To Nott. Got it. Finishing Caleb’s go. SAM: Healing potion. So you marked that down? LIAM: Yep. TRAVIS: It’s further around than you think. LAURA: What? MARISHA: None of us can really see. LAURA: Oh, the door. MATT: There’s a faint pause as you’re holding backand preparing your spell. Two elongated bluish-green hands peer through. Some sort of ahumanoid looking creature, but its skin, somewhat of a deeper, bluer tint than the fish humanoidsyou had battled on the way in. You see it kind of peeks through and glances out toward those of youwho that are currently still visible across the way. Its face humanoid. Eyes a dull, sunkenyellowish-green color, but where its mouth is, it’s two flaps of skin, like a central mouth thatis vertical. Peeks out, you see rubbery, dark tendrils that pull off of its head like a thickerPredator, just beyond the interior. LAURA: Inside? MATT: On the inside, yes. LIAM: I was a-scared and frightened. MATT: As it peers through, its jaw opens up,splits open. You can see two rows of teeth on the inside and the bony projections that holds it openand gives it this six foot wingspan of open jaw to each part. It gives this dull screaming noise asit begins to dart forward. TRAVIS: Six foot? LAURA: From the doorway? From where? MATT: From the doorway. First off, immediatelyNott and Beau, you were holding actions. Go for it. MARISHA: (slamming) LAURA: Ew, look at it! MARISHA: Natural one. (laughs) Happy 2019! TRAVIS: What the hell is coming off of it? LIAM: Trigger Caleb casting Haste on Nott if I sawher attack. MATT: Correct. So for the time being, you areconsidered hasted, and Caleb, you are concentrating on Haste. SAM: But that doesn’t apply until my next round. MATT: Correct. SAM: Okay. I rolled a 26 to hit. MATT: That does hit. SAM: Okay, do I get sneak attack? Or does she seeme? He. It. MATT: Apparently, it does not see you, and it’sadjacent to Beau at the time as it rushes past Beau. It seems more focused on the group in theback. So your attack does hit, and you do get sneak attack. SAM: Okay! That is 18 plus eight. That’s 26 pointsof– no, plus five, sorry. 25 points of damage. MATT: 25 points of damage. SAM: Yes. MATT: You got it. As the creature begins to skulkthrough and kicks off the stone outside of this temple, it swims at a faster speed than you wereexpecting, and as it darts past Beau, Beau swings but goes wide, no impact with the staff. You,however, use that moment, watch as the bolt from the crossbow sinks into its chest. It braces abit, but keeps darting forward, using the rest of its movement to go. MARISHA: I turn to the group and I go: One’scoming your way! TRAVIS: Yeah, we fucking see it! SAM: I turn to the group and go: Ah! MATT: It’s a unique sound, because you hear Nott’sscream go, “Ah!” right as its voice (roars). It screams out this high-pitched, three-toned whinethat causes all of you to reach for your ears. I need everybody within 30 feet to make a wisdomsaving throw. TALIESIN: You guys get an extra d4. LAURA: Yes! SAM: We do? LAURA: You don’t. TRAVIS: Natural 20 for Fjord. LAURA: Beau, Yasha, and Fjord. TALIESIN: Get a d4. LAURA: It went 19 and then went to one. MARISHA: Jeez louise. TRAVIS: A 13 for Yasha. MARISHA: Oh, and I get to add a d4 from beingblessed? Okay. 11. Still not good. MATT: Yasha and Fjord are all right. Beau, therocking pain in your head causes your vision to go white and your muscles seize up and you arestunned for the next round. Caleb? LIAM: 15. MATT: You just barely manage to shrug it off, noissue. Nott? SAM: Six. MATT: As you feel the adrenaline burst into yoursystem and you begin to move backward, preparing your next bolt, it sears into your brain and yourscream immediately cuts to a halt as your lungs hold in place. Jester? Natural one. You as wellfind yourself doubling over here, your feet pulling up towards your chest as you float anddrift to the side, clutching yourself. Caduceus? TALIESIN: 13. MATT: You just manage to shrug it off. It hurtsand your hands go to block it, but as soon as you shake it off, your eyes focus forward. That’sgoing to end its turn. That brings us to Fjord. TRAVIS: I’m going to use my 30 feet of movementwith my mariner’s armor, and I’m going to move north on the map as far as I can. MATT: 30. TRAVIS: Great. MATT: You guys can swim, so there is an up anddown if you need it. TRAVIS: I will, with my bonus action– I’ll keepit for now. I don’t know what else is in there yet. I’m going to fire off two Eldritch Blasts athis bitch ass. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: That’s a 12. Probably won’t hit. MATT: 12 does not hit. TRAVIS: Damn. And a 15. MATT: 15 does hit. TRAVIS: Ooh, thank god for that. MATT: The first one, it sees you move and you seeits brow furrow, realizing that you weren’t impacted by the scream. The first one, it ducksout of the way. It spins around and you catch it with the second hit. TRAVIS: Ten points of Eldritch Blast damage. MATT: You got it. Fjord, that ends your go.Jester, you are stunned. LAURA: I am. MATT: But you will have your next turn. It onlylasts until the end of its next turn. As you sit there, grasping at your head, you can taste ironin your mouth mingling with the ocean. LAURA: I bit my tongue. MATT: That brings us to Caduceus. TALIESIN: Wow, I see how this is going. I’m goingto cast Bless and hit Caleb, Nott, and Jester. MATT: Okay, so all you guys have Bless. Now youhave dual Bless, most of the party. This is actually a pretty good combo. TALIESIN: So I’m Blessing that, and then I’m goingto move out of the way. I’m going to go around that rock and over to the side there. Yeah,anywhere I can get over there, get a little bit of distance. MATT: Along the ground? TALIESIN: Yeah, probably go up a little bit. Iwant to be able to keep an eye on things. MATT: That’d put you at about there. All right,that ends Caduceus’ go. At this point, you hear this scratching sound, skittering. The doorwaythat was right there, you watch something claw and tries to pull through and then shoves into it. Thestone around the entrance breaks open and the entryway opens slightly as, bursting forth– SAM: Oh god, what is that? LAURA: Oh god, oh jeez! MATT: One of the creatures from the inside thatyou had seen before. TRAVIS: What is that? What the hell is that?! MATT: You saw a glimmering hint of it, lookingbelow, but you see this large crustacean-like entity that has heavy pincer claws. Its facedescends into tendrils, these tiny little tentacles that writhe and curl under its mouth. Ithas a pair of four legs, very arachnid-like, that scurry across the ground. Another one skitters upto the top. LAURA: Oh god! TRAVIS: Oh jesus. MATT: And another one from the inside. TALIESIN: No, not cool! LAURA: No! How did they get all the way up? Canthey climb walls? MATT: They can swim, too. LAURA: They can swim?! What were we thinking?! MATT: The one that’s next to Beau is going to taketwo strikes at you with its pincers. BEAU: I’m stunned. MATT: You are, so that’s advantage. SAM: Is that an auto-crit? MATT: No, stunned is not paralyzed. Paralyzed isdifferent than that; that’s a Hold Person thing. That is a 24 to hit. You take from the impact onthat one dual sixes on two d6. That’s 16 points of bludgeoning damage, and you are grappled. Theother attack is going to be 18 to hit. MARISHA: Miss. MATT: Miss? MARISHA: Yep, my armor class is 19. Bracers! MATT: As you pull back, even though you’restunned, it grapples you with one hand and goes to try and grab you with the other and you justmanage, while still stunned, to pull just out of its grasp. However, you are grappled, so it’sgoing to use its tentacle attack on you as well. You need to make a constitution saving throw. TRAVIS: If we hit it, do you think it might breakthe grapple? MATT: Usually you have to try and pull somebodyout of a grapple or push it away from them. LAURA: But she’s in claws. She’s grappled inclaws. MARISHA: Oh, thank you, Gil! 21 plus a four fromBless, so 25. MATT: As it pulls you in with its grappled claws,tentacles begin to reach towards your shoulders and neck and, like a jellyfish, you feel the stinghit you, but you manage to just writhe enough away and whatever toxin that is trying to release andpour into your system doesn’t actually find purchase within your internal body. MARISHA: Ugh, no, I’m not into that, no! MATT: That’s their turn. That brings us to Yasha. TRAVIS: Yasha will advance on el aqua screechergentleman, and she will unleash two swipes with the Magician’s Judge. With her bonus action shewould like to rage. MATT: There you go, good memory. TALIESIN: A d4 attached to each attack roll. TRAVIS: Because of Bless. 18 to hit? MATT: 18 hits. TRAVIS: First one hits and the second one, 19? MATT: Also hits. Both attacks hit. TRAVIS: The third one is 3d6. 15 points on thefirst one. On the second one– that’s not great. Eight points on the second one of slashing damage. MATT: All right. As she swings through– TRAVIS: Sorry, ten points. Add two more on that. MATT: As Yasha moves forward, sword swinging,and– oh, both of those attacks technically have disadvantage, because you’re underwater. TRAVIS: They do. MATT: So roll once for each again, just to see. MARISHA: Is that all of us? MATT: Actually, are you affected by it with yourmariner’s armor? TRAVIS: I’m not, but she is. MATT: She is, that’s right. TRAVIS: Yeah. That is a 19 for the first one. MATT: Yep, still hits. TRAVIS: Second one, that’s a natural 19. MATT: Yeah, already cool, she’s fine. Sword, whilestill resistant against the water, manages to strike twice and carving into this creature, whohad already taken the blasts from the other members of your party. The blood around it beginsto fill the area with this dark blue-purple-crimson coloring. That finishesYasha’s turn? TRAVIS: It does. MATT: All right, bringing us to the top. Beau andNott, you’re up. SAM: We’re stunned, right? MARISHA: Are we done being stunned? MATT: Nope. You will be soon. SAM: This is the round. MATT: That’s your turn. You’re no longer stunned.Bringing us to Caleb. LIAM: I’m going to move half my movement, so isthat three? MATT: Three, correct. LIAM: I’m going to go one, two, three to here andfire off Magic Missiles at this one by Yasha at a level two. MATT: All right, four missiles. LIAM: All terrible rolls. It’s eight points ofdamage. MATT: Eight points of damage total? LIAM: Yeah, that’s it. SAM: Plus anything to it? LIAM: Yes, I do, plus 12 points of damage. MATT: 12 points of damage. As it’s taking theblasts from all of them, carved through by Yasha, it starts trying to back away as the missilesthrough the water, carving these little paths of bubbles behind them, slamming into each side. Itdrifts there, lifeless, in the water next to Yasha. MARISHA: You killed him! SAM: Oh, wow! TALIESIN: One down. MATT: That ends Caleb’s turn. It’s your movementand action, correct? LIAM: Yep. MATT: Holding on to your haste. It is now thatcreature’s turn, but it’s dead. Fjord, you’re up. TRAVIS: Oh, shit, it’s already me? MATT: Yeah. TRAVIS: Ah! Yeah, I know. MARISHA: It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. TRAVIS: Yeah. I don’t know if I want to get thatclose to it. That thing is grappling-crazy. Can I kick up 15 feet and back 15? MATT: Sure. Back this way? This way? TRAVIS: Away from the target. MATT: That’ll put you right up there. TRAVIS: Yeah, I’ll take it. MATT: You boof up in the air around it. TRAVIS: I will again throw two Eldritch Blasts. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: That’s a natural 19 and– MATT: Against which one? TRAVIS: The guy on the lower. MATT: All right, got you. TRAVIS: Natural 19 is 26 to hit on the first one,and the second one is a 19? MATT: Both hit. TRAVIS: Okay, great. Lots of dice for twodifferent characters. Nine plus five, 14 on the first one and 13 on the second one. Nice! Thoseare good. MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: With my bonus action, I will do nothingyet. MATT: Okay, that ends Fjord’s turn. Jester andCaduceus, you guys are up next. Both concentrating on Bless, right? TALIESIN and LAURA: Yeah. MATT: I’ll mark that for the two of you as well.What’re you doing? LAURA: For my bonus action, I’m going to castSpiritual Weapon? I’m going to cast Spiritual Weapon! TALIESIN: We’ll talk about that other thing later. LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Where would you like for it to be? LAURA: Up by these guys. MATT: Okay. The range on that is 60 feet? LIAM: Yeah. With Spiritual Weapon, yeah. MATT: Yeah, so you can definitely get it. You wantit on this edge? LAURA: Sweet! Right in between them, and it’sgoing to attack the one that is close to the wall. MATT: All right, go for it. Take it strike. SAM: (singing) Lollipop, lollipop, ohlolly-lollipop. TRAVIS and MATT: Ba-boom boom boom. LAURA: What do I add? Anything? SAM: Spell melee. LAURA: Why do I forget how to play? TALIESIN: It’s been a few weeks. MATT: It’s been a few weeks. Add your spell– LAURA: My wisdom? MATT: Your spell attack modifier, which is yourproficiency bonus plus your wisdom modifier. LAURA: Spell attack! MATT: The difference three weeks can make. LAURA: So 15. MATT: That hits. No, it doesn’t! It just misses.Oh, shit, sorry. TALIESIN: Oh, wait, it’s an attack, you get anextra d4. MATT: You do. You’re blessed by Caduceus. Oh, youdid? TALIESIN: Oh, you did roll your d4, never mind. LAURA: I did it already. MATT: I’m sorry. It swings through. It manages tohit the side of its body and then scrape off of its hard, armored exterior. LAURA: That’s okay, I’m going to cast Sacred Flameat it. MATT: Same one, over here? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: Is that its dexterity? LAURA: That’s his dexterity save. MATT: That is going to be a seven. LAURA: Yay, it hits! Go fuck yourself, crab! Ah!Eight plus four, 12! MATT: All righty. MARISHA: Someone hit it. Thank god. MATT: The flame bursts around and it seems toshrug it off. That ends your turn. Going to stay where you are? LAURA: Yeah. MATT: All right. Caduceus. TALIESIN: I’m going to use my bonus action tothrow a quick Healing Word at Beau. LAURA: I’m going to actually step behind the rock. TALIESIN: That’s just six hit points, sorry. LAURA: Although I like that Yasha is the rock. TALIESIN: Then I’m going to get a little bit awayfrom the tower. I’m going to try and stay in range of that one but circle around away from thesefuckers. MATT: Circle around this way? TALIESIN: Yeah, around like that. The one that hasBeau, I’m going to hold a Path to the Grave until Yasha attacks. I’m going to hold my thing forYasha to hit it. TRAVIS: So this guy down here at the bottom? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: Holding your action for that? TALIESIN: Yeah. MATT: You got it. Ending Caduceus’ go, it’s theirturn. This one here that has Beau grappled is going to spin around, which is going to open thedoorway. This guy here, both of them are going to leave behind this region. This guy is going todouble move. This one’s going to come down and get into melee with you, but that’s its turn. It movedand dashed. This one here is going to swoop down. Same thing, move and dash, and it’s going to headtowards Yasha. And then– LAURA: And then?! SAM: There’s another one! MATT: Another one comes through the doorway here. TRAVIS: He was just hanging out, slow-playing thatshit? MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: You son of a bitch. MATT: He is going to attempt to move past Beau.Which, Beau, if you want to take it, even though you’re grappled, you can take your attack ofopportunity to stop it or let it go. SAM: Is she still stunned, or is this out of– MARISHA: Did my stun wear off? LAURA: Yeah, the guy died. MATT: Yeah, he’s dead. You’re no longer stunned. MARISHA: I might as well. It would go to waste,anyway. Right? MATT: Up to you. You’re grappling. You see himrunning by. TRAVIS: I don’t like his face the way he said it.He’s going to turn on you. You’re going to have two on you. MARISHA: I’m going to have two on me? Plus seven.24. MATT: 24 hits. Roll damage. MARISHA: Plus another four with Bless that Ididn’t do. That’s a regular old off-hand attack, right? LIAM: Is everyone attacking at disadvantage likeYasha was? MATT: You should be. You have to roll one moretime. MARISHA: I think I’m still good. Six damage. MATT: Six points of damage. You got it. We havetwo of them who dashed down, swimming through the water, curling through the water, and then twostuck on Beauregard. You are grappled by the first one. It’s going to make two pincer attacks andtentacles against you. LAURA: (singing) I am stuck on Beauregard, ’causeBeau is stuck on me. MATT: Natural four and a natural two. It’s goingto be a ten and an eight, so you’re still grappled. He’s still holding you, but can’t quitesqueeze onto– the other one can’t snap at you. Make another constitution saving throw for me,please. TALIESIN and MARISHA: Plus a d4. TALIESIN: I love Bless, man. MARISHA: Plus another three, so 17. MATT: The tentacles (slurping) towards you, andyou dodge out of the way, keeping it at bay. It’s barely touching the edge of your neck as you’retrying to shove it. The other guy swings around after being impacted by you and begins to make twopincer attacks against you as well. TRAVIS: Natural three and natural five. MATT: Natural 20 and natural 19. Not even joking.I’m pretty sure that hits you. MARISHA: Both times. LAURA: Are you going to do something, Cad? Cad, dosomething! TALIESIN: I’m not 30 feet away from that, am I? MATT: No. TALIESIN: Damn it. Okay, never mind. MATT: For the non-crit, that is going to be 13points of bludgeoning damage. Crit is going to be 22 points of bludgeoning damage. MARISHA: 22? MATT: Correct. I need you to make a constitutionsaving throw. You managed to dodge away from the first one, barely noticing the other one come upfrom behind clasp on and then grapple you. You’re now grappled by each of them. One of them has youby the torso, the other by the legs, and they’re almost pulling you in half. As it gets anotherclaw into the side and it reaches in, its tentacles begin reaching toward your shoulders.What’d you roll? MARISHA: 14. TALIESIN: Is that with the d4? MATT: That’s okay, you manage to resist thetoxins. You manage to push them back and forth. Both of their heads are pulling towards you. It’sclosing in your space. All you see is a smattering of claws, angry alien faces, and red filling thewater around you, your own. That finishes their turn. Yasha’s up. TRAVIS: Right. Yeah, she is going to deal withthe– what are these called? We don’t know. MATT: You don’t know. TALIESIN: I see her attacking and I’m– TRAVIS: She’s going to deal with Carl right infront of her. Reckless against these sons of bitches. MATT: You got it. Straight attack on these. TRAVIS: Straight attack. Okay. Sorry, here I go.18 to hit. MATT: 18 hits. TRAVIS: Okay, and the second one I’ll get out ofthe way. That’s a 22, that hits. 23. MATT: Roll damage for the first attack, which isdoubled because the creature’s vulnerable because of Caduceus. Seeing Yasha strike towards it,focuses divine energy and makes it briefly vulnerable to the strike. TRAVIS: All damage is doubled on the first one? MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: It’s 3d6, so that’s (counting) 17. What’s17 times two? MATT: 34 points of slashing damage against thefirst guy. TRAVIS: Second one. LAURA: Was that Yasha? TRAVIS: Yeah. Five, seven, plus three is ten. 12points of slashing damage for the second one. MATT: As it swims down and lands, Yasha carvesinto it. With each strike, part of its under-bellied shell cracks open slightly, and bitsof dull, grayish-black liquid begin to fill the area around it. Its head streaks back, and itstentacles go wild, and you can see from the inside a strange series of clear tendrils that come outof an interior mouth. There’s a brief moment of this really creepy, alien physicality, but Yashais focused and raging and swinging the blade as hard as she can. Ending her turn, bringing us tohe top of the round. Beau and Nott, you guys are up. SAM: I’ll go first. I don’t know how powerful theyare, but I don’t think I can kill one on one shot. We got to get you out of this grapple. MARISHA: So sorry. I’m so sorry. LIAM: It’s okay. It’s just my teeth. MATT: Oh, buddy. SAM: Oh, no. He’s had the worst luck. I think,seeing the predicament that Beau is in, I’m going to cast Phantasmal Force against one of the onesthat is grappling her. MATT: Okay. Let’s see here. It’s an intelligencesaving throw. They are not intelligent. SAM: I assumed. MATT: That is cocked. That is a 12 minus three.Nine. SAM: Good, so they fail. MATT: Which one of these, and what do you create? SAM: It doesn’t much matter. I want one of them todrop her grapple. I’m going to do the one closer to me, and the image that they see and feel isthat of a tiny goblin girl jumping on its face and biting it in the eye. I can roll for damage. MATT: Yes, you can. SAM: They suffer three points of damage, and theyhave a goblin on their face, covering their eye. TRAVIS: Both of them, or just one? SAM: Just the one creature. MATT: We’ll get to what it does on its turn, butyeah. As soon as you complete the spell, its head suddenly jerks back, twice, three times. You getthe sense it’s had effect. SAM: Because I’m hasted, do I get a second attack?Okay, I will now attack the other one with my Tinkertop Boltblaster. Oh wait, do I get to add aplus four? MATT: You are blessed, I believe, right? SAM: Yeah. One, okay. That’s something. 17 tohit. MATT: 17 hits. SAM: Okay, and sneak attack? MATT: Yeah, because it’s adjacent to Beau. SAM: 26 points of damage. MATT: Is this the same one that has PhantasmalForce? SAM: No. MATT: The other one. How much was that? Thatwas– SAM: 26 points of damage. I’ll do Fury of theSmall. That’s an extra seven– what are we at now? MATT: Yeah, an extra seven. 33 points of damage inone strike. The other one that’s holding onto Beau– she’s still being pulled apart from the twodifferent claws. She’s about to be bishopped. The secondary one, as it’s not freaking out, itstendrils are trying to reach around her face. Suddenly the side of the bolt jams into where youimagine an ocular socket would be in a normal creature. As it impacts, the head jerks back.Little bit of cloud of blood pools off of it, and it looks over in your direction. SAM: Then I will very conspicuously, bonus action,fire again. That’s 26 to hit. MATT: That hits. Rogues, man. SAM: Plus another ten points of damage. MATT: Nice. A second bolt hits it. It looks backin your direction with a second bolt. Now there’s two of them sticking out the side of its face. Twoof the tentacles curl up around them, wrapping onto whatever purchase it finds on its face,trying to pull it out. That ends your turn? You want to move? SAM: I’ll move into the bushes there. I know Ican’t hide, but towards the tower. MATT: You move in, ducking into the mix there.Perfect. That ends your turn. Caleb, you’re up. MARISHA: I haven’t gone. MATT: Oh, that’s right. Beau. MARISHA: I’m still grappled by both of them,though. MATT: You are. You cannot move unless you breakthe grapple. It’s an action to attempt to escape. TRAVIS: Are you grappled by both? MARISHA: Mm-hmm. MATT: A successful grapple attempt would beagainst both of them, but they’d both get to roll to try and keep you grappled. It’s only one actionto try and break from both, if you wanted to break free. Up to you. MARISHA: That sounds like a waste of Beau’s time. MATT: Fair enough. Respect that. MARISHA: She is holding on, going to startswinging wildly from where she is. She’s going to hit the– TRAVIS: Smoke bombs. Something. MARISHA: Smoke bombs don’t affect their grip. LIAM: And we’re underwater. MARISHA: The one that got Phantasmaled. Okay, plusseven, Jesus. 23. MATT: 23 hits. It’s with disadvantage, right? MARISHA: No. MATT: Roll with disadvantage on these attacks. LAURA: Add four. No? MARISHA: It’s a one. MATT: First swing snaps onto its armor. Yourknuckles crack in the instance, and you feel a sharp pain through your wrist. Make your nextattack. MARISHA: What else can I do? Is there anythingelse I can fucking do here? Okay. SAM: Patient Defense, whatever that is? MARISHA: I mean, I can do it on my– but I stillget a second attack here. Okay, 18 plus one, 19. MATT: 19 hits. Roll damage. MARISHA: Same one. That’s good. Nine damage. I’mgoing to spend a ki point to do Stunning Strike, for the love of god. MATT: Constitution saving throw. It’s a plusthree, but it’s a natural four. Seven. MARISHA: Stunned. TRAVIS: That helps a ton. MATT: It drops the grapple. The grip that it hason you laxes as suddenly the area where you managed to jam the fist, right underneath the jaw,causes part of its throat to collapse inward, and it’s at the moment not sure where it is. You feelthat one release. The other one still has you, though. That’s your action. You still have yourbonus. MARISHA: I’m going to do my bonus. Does PatientDefense matter if I’m grappled? MATT: Yeah. All grapple does is lower your speedto zero. You can’t move. Restrained is what really fucks you up because that gives advantage onattacks against you. MARISHA: Okay. Copy. Yeah, I’ll do PatientDefense. I’ll look at the other one and grab his claws and stare him in the eye. MATT: Where its eyes would be, you imagine. Tryingto look for an eye to glare at. Perfect. That ends your turn, Beau. Caleb, you’re up. LIAM: I was backing away from the action, butseeing how the things are turning south, I start pushing back towards Miss Lionett through thewater. I make it that far, and I’m going to cast Magic Missile at level four. MATT: 4th-level Magic Missile! LIAM: (counting) 22. MATT: 22 points of damage against which one? LIAM: The one that’s backside is to me. This side.No, the one on Beauregard here. MATT: You got it. Perfect. 22 points of damage onthat. Each one impacts. The shell darkens from the blasts as all six bolts– you full-onRobotech-style missile into the sides of it. There’s a series of small, dull explosion soundsin the nearby water before it goes still. It’s still moving and shifting around, but its head isthrashing about wildly, seemingly distracted by something you can’t see. LIAM: That’s the end of my turn. MATT: Now it’s their go. The one that is stillholding Beau releases her and begins scrabbling towards its face. It manages to strike out andclasp nothing. Natural 20. Critical hit on nothing as it’s striking out in the direction of its face,trying to clear this little goblin off of its visual cortex, its tentacles reaching out tonothing. It moves and shifts this way to try and scrape and get off. It’s going to wreck it there.Does it get to make a saving throw at the end of each of its turn? MARISHA: Does it move out of my range? SAM: Let me look. Each round on your turn, I candeal damage. My god, this is a long-ass spell. MATT: It does. It doesn’t get to save every turn,it looks like, but it lasts for a minute. You can continue to do damage to it. It thinks it’s real,but it’s starting to wonder as it’s done a few hits that should have snatched this thing up. It’sfinding no purchase, so you get the sense that maybe the illusion is starting to– you’ve gottena round of distraction from it. I’ll put it that way. SAM: “While the target is affected, the spelltreats the phantasm as if it’s real. The target “rationalizes any illogical outcomes frominteracting with the phantasm.” MATT: So it’s just a quick little goblin. (laughter) TRAVIS: I love that they wrote it out thatspecifically. MATT: Yeah. Interesting, so it’s more frustratedthat it’s taking damage from this little creature, but the damage is negligible. It’s now like, “Fuckit.” SAM: Got it. That makes sense. I buy that. MATT: This is me rationalizing itsrationalization. SAM: Yeah, no, that makes sense. MATT: You manage to get her free of the grapple. MARISHA: Did he hop out of my melee range? MATT: He did. MARISHA: Pop, pop. Sentinel. MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: Is that going to turn him back around onyou? MARISHA: Well, natural one doesn’t– and a natural20! SAM: Then this is the one that misses, right? MARISHA: No, I rolled a natural one. MATT: Oh, you rolled a natural one? MARISHA: Yeah, I rolled a nat one and a nat 20, sohe moves. MATT: He does move. It’s fine. TRAVIS: That’s okay. I think that’s actuallybetter. Keep him going. MATT and TALIESIN: This is fine. MATT: That one shoots past that one here towardsCaduceus. Actually, I looked at the wrong order. There’s a few more turns before they get a chanceto go. We’ll say that happened if it gets to it. That was actually the initiative for the creaturethat you’ve already killed. Fjord, you’re up. TRAVIS: Fjord will take all 30 of his speed andhead towards the two lumberfucks that’re messing with Beau. MATT: Same height, or are you lowering yourself? TRAVIS: I’d like to get down there, if I can. MATT: You can get into melee, I’ll say, with thisone. Technically both of them, you can get to both of them. TRAVIS: Could I? I’m going to send– and one ofthem’s stunned, right? MATT: It is, yes. TRAVIS: I’m going to take two swings with theSummer’s Dance falchion at the stunned one that just let go of Beau. MATT: You gotcha. Both attacks are advantageagainst the stunned creature, I believe. Yes. TRAVIS: They stay at advantage because of myMariner’s Armor? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: 15, that’s going to hit. That’s 30. Yeah,I mean, that hits. That’s 37 without the– MATT: Yeah, that hits. TRAVIS: Ooh god, double fours plus 12. 16, 20. MATT: 20 hits. Damage for the second strike, gofor it. As you swim down, quickly, falchion, whack, slicing across it. TRAVIS: 11 on the first, seven on the second. 18points total. SAM: Beau, you’re still alive! MARISHA: I’m still alive. I’m doing all right. TRAVIS: With my bonus action– oh, I should havedone it first, but I’m fucking stupid. Look at that. I wrote it there, in big letters: Cast Hex.Goddamn it. SAM: You’re so dumb that you have to write down– TRAVIS: I’m only governing two characters rightnow! Fuck me. Can I cast it with a bonus action? Yes. With my bonus action, I’ll cast Hex and getit up now. MATT: On the one that’s stunned? TRAVIS: On the stunned one, please. It’ll havedisadvantage on wisdom checks. MATT: Sure. There you go. Fjord, that finishesyour go. Jester and Caduceus, you guys are up. TALIESIN: I’m fine either way. LAURA: Okay. Then I’m going to use my bonus actionto bring my Spiritual Weapon down and attack the one that is next to Beau because it’s stunned. MATT: It can move 20 feet, right? LAURA: It can move– motherfucker. LIAM: It’s short. It’s 20 feet. I remember. LAURA: Can I get to it? MATT: Nope. It floats partway down– jeez, I keepdropping everything. Been gone for three weeks and I can’t even function. It does get part of theway, but next round it can get down there. LAURA: Balls. What a stupid– okay. I’m going togo up to the one that is… ugh. I’m going to– (unsure sound) It’s a tough decision here. MATT: I know. LAURA: Here’s the thing. TALIESIN: I’m fine, man. LAURA: Are you, though? TALIESIN: Yeah, I’m fine. TRAVIS: You’re wearing Cowboys colors. It’s fine.Take your time. LAURA: I’m going to go to the one that’s attackingCaduceus. I’m going to get behind it. MATT: You’re going to swim up over the– LAURA: Up and over. MATT: You can get one, two, three. That’s as faras you can get. LAURA: Goddamn it. Forget it. I’m going to staywhere I am, motherfuck. MATT: Swimming is half movement, unfortunately. LAURA: Fuck. I’m going to fucking use fuckingstupid Toll the fucking Dead on the one at Yasha. LIAM: Character drops. Fuck this bullshit. MATT: It’s a constitution saving throw? LAURA: It’s a wisdom saving throw. TRAVIS: Everybody is ready to be out of thewater. MATT: That is a 14. LAURA: Oh, I get it. 12 points of bong damage. MATT: Beautiful. The area around its head wherethere’s an armored shell that protects its face area cracks a bit from the impact. Bits of itsshell are starting to flake off. That one’s starting to look pretty hurt. LAURA: These things are tough, yo. I thought thatwas going to kill the one with Yasha. MATT: Are you going to move or stay where youare? LAURA: No, I’m going to stay! MATT: That ends your turn, then. Caduceus. TALIESIN: Man. Things are happening. Yeah, I’mgoing to turn invisible. MARISHA: Everyone’s at such a loss. LAURA: These guys are really tough, and they’re sospread out. SAM: Yeah. There’s four of them. TALIESIN: That’s only for a round. Then I’m goingto back away from this thing. I’m actually going to head around behind Jester, basically. MATT: It will make an attack of opportunity on youas it sees you disappear. It goes out towards you. It has disadvantage on the attack. That is 17 tohit. TALIESIN: That misses. I also might add that Ihave the Shield of Retribution. MATT: You do. TALIESIN: I’m going to activate the Shield ofRetribution. TRAVIS: This is the first time? TALIESIN: Yep. It’s the first time I’m using it.When a creature misses with a melee attack, you may react to the blast with arcane force. You haveto succeed on a strength saving throw, but that’s something else. MATT: Roll damage first. TALIESIN: Okay. Eh. 14 points of damage. MATT: 14 points of damage, nice. The strengthsaving throw is a six. TALIESIN: It must succeed on a strength savingthrow– is a six. I don’t know what against. Must succeed on a strength saving throw againstsomething. MATT: That’d be your spell DC. TALIESIN: Then I think that’s fine, yeah. You getpushed back 20 feet. MATT: (blasting) It gets blasted back from theimpact. You see a flash from the shield and this bubble of energy well up and then force it backwith a sudden impact as it gets pushed away. You dart around the side. TALIESIN: I dart around the side. I’m coming asfar back as I can towards that wall, and I’m going to hold my actual action to do the same thing withYasha again, to give her the bonus kick to her first attack. MATT: That’s your action? TALIESIN: That will be my action, yeah. MATT: Okay, cool. That ends your turn. Next up istheir turn. The one that got blasted back is going to move, (counting) 30. It’s not within range toactually get anybody, and it doesn’t see where you are, so instead the person that it seesimmediately is going to be Caleb. Then it moves the rest of its 30 feet to get into– TALIESIN: Will it bump into me? MATT: We’ll say it knocks you a little bit out ofthe way, but it doesn’t have anything to attack with because it used its action to get up next toyou. Currently is in melee with both of you. No, I didn’t come across you. It didn’t quite cross yourpath. This one over here is going to– TALIESIN: How did it get so far? What’s theirspeed? ALL: Double dash. TALIESIN: Oh, fuck, okay. MATT: This one’s stunned. This one here is goingto be now up against Fjord. It’s going to strike out towards you twice, Fjord. MARISHA: I thought he had his little moment withthe little quick goblin. SAM and MATT: It’s ignoring the goblin. SAM: Focusing on stronger things. The goblin’sstill on its face. MATT: You can still do damage with it every turn,and it still sees it, and is considering it– actually, I’ll make an intelligence saving throw. MARISHA: You said you used the initiative of theone that died by accident. It was coming up on this turn. It’s all on one round, was what you said. SAM: I think you had it move, but you didn’t haveit do an action yet, I don’t think. MATT: No, it’s true. You’re right. MARISHA: Because I tried to do Sentinel on it. MATT: No, you’re right. I fucked up my own order.Cool. SAM: I don’t think you did an action for it. Youjust tried to move. MATT: It did. No, I had it waste its action to tryand attack the thing. Yep. As the two very big attacks on nothing, it’s starting to not worryabout it. The other one is stunned. That ends its turn. The one on Yasha is going to attack twice.That’s going to be a natural 20. TALIESIN: Do I have a reaction, or did– MATT: You were using you reaction to hold your– TALIESIN: That is my reaction, is to hold myattack? MATT: When you’re holding an action, it uses yourreaction to release it. TALIESIN: Okay. Sorry. TRAVIS: She’s raging; I think it’s okay. MATT: The other one is a 17 to hit. TRAVIS: Both hit. MATT: All right. Critical is 22 bludgeoning damageto her, reduced to 11, and the second one is nine points of bludgeoning damage, reduced to four.She’s grappled by it. It has her held in both of its claws, holding her there in front and thentendrils begin to move towards her face. She needs to make a constitution saving throw, please. TRAVIS: Okay. 15 damage. Constitution savingthrow. Does she have advantage on– no. Okay. LAURA: Plus four. TRAVIS: Oh, she’s great. 24 plus– 26. MATT: She’s dealt with harsher toxins than this.She doesn’t even duck out of the way. She just takes it and it doesn’t have an effect. It burnsand nothing. I got that one and that one. Yeah, that’s their turn. Man, that stun. That stun andthat illusion. That ends their go. Yasha’s up now. TRAVIS: Yasha’s going to try and get to RedLobster with two more swipes of the Magician’s Judge. Reckless for straight attacks. TALIESIN: First one doubles. TRAVIS: Okay. What doubles? TALIESIN: All the damage. The first one isdoubled. TRAVIS: Oh, great! Okay, cool. 16 to hit? MATT: 16 just hits. TRAVIS: Oh, nice, and the second one is only an11– oh, wait. An 11 plus four. 15! MATT: Misses. TRAVIS: Damn it! But the first one does. MATT: But the first one does hit. TRAVIS: That’s good. Okay. MATT: The first strike goes through, so it’s fulldamage times two. TRAVIS: Sweet. (counting) 19 times two, so 38? MATT: 38 points of damage. How does Yasha want todo this? ALL: Oh! LAURA: Golf claps! TRAVIS: Yeah, sweet. She will come down in anoverarching right with that Magician’s Judge, and on the second one she’ll shove the sword in andcrack that fucking thing like a beautiful fillet. MATT: As she drags it down the side of its body,she puts her foot up, and using that, she pushes to the side and watches it tear in half. You see abunch of internal purple sinew and muscle tear open. It gives this horrible dull squeak soundbefore it goes limp and begins to float and slowly sink to the bottom. TRAVIS: (as Yasha) So many people leave so muchgood food in here. Got to know how to eat lobster. MATT: That finishes Yasha’s turn. She hasmovement, yes. TRAVIS: She’ll take her 15 feet towards the othertwo. MATT: All right. One, two, three. She gets intothat one there. TRAVIS: Can she get on his ass? MATT: Yep. TRAVIS: Nice. MATT: All right, that finishes Yasha’s go. Beauand Nott, you guys are up. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: That one is still stunned, because it’suntil the end of your next turn. MARISHA: Dope. I’m going to do a kick off theocean floor and I’m going to jump. I want to do an aerial over the two of them to land towards Fjord.As I’m upside down in the air, I’m going to take my two attacks. MATT: Go for it. TALIESIN: I also like that you’re bleeding, sothere’s a perfect red corkscrew happening. MARISHA: So dope! MATT: No attack of opportunity from the one that’sstunned, so as you flip through the water– MARISHA: I’m going to go for the one that’s notstunned first. MATT: Go for it. MARISHA: Come on. That’s good! That’s a 17. Ireally need to do math better. 22, plus? MATT: 22 hits. You can roll and extra d4. It’sstill going to hit. MARISHA: 25? MATT: Yeah, so the first one hits. Roll damage forthat. MARISHA: Yeah, and then I’m going to try and stunhim. MATT: Okay. How much damage was that? MARISHA: Oh. Nine. MATT: Natural one. So now he’s stunned. Monks,man. SAM: Monks are insane. MATT: As you dart over, remember the place rightunder its jaw where you’re seeing its tendrils are trying to go towards you, you jam the staff rightinto its throat there and as it does, it pulls back, unable to really get its bearings. MARISHA: Jester sees an arc of my blood throughthe water as I’m bleeding and I cartwheel. LAURA: Beautiful! MATT: Second attack. MARISHA: Second attack. I’m going to go to the onethat’s already stunned. MATT: These are both happening in the air asyou’re arcing. MARISHA: This is just a straight roll, right? MATT: Correct. TRAVIS: Natural 20. MATT: Damn. The luck on this round. MARISHA: I’ve been using my fists as magical. Wow.Cool. Real cool story. LIAM: Double that. MARISHA: Double that to a nice, awesome two. Six. MATT: Six points of damage. All right. MARISHA: My crit was less than my– LAURA: Your beautiful blood rainbow looks soglamorous. MARISHA: Thank you. MATT: You still have your bonus. MARISHA: And flurry of Beaus. One more time. Poppop. LAURA: Branding? Somebody make that a t-shirt! MATT: Technically they’re both stunned, but whichone do you want to do? MARISHA: I’ll do the furthest one. MATT: Okay, the one that was stunned first. Gotit. MARISHA: Wow that’s not cool. 13 plus– give me afour. 16? MATT: 16 just hits. MARISHA: Thank you, Bless! Okay, that would havebeen awesome with that critical. Ten damage. MATT: Ten points of damage, all right. MARISHA: Second attack, same thing. Wait, no, hangon. Six plus seven, so 13– LIAM: Cocked. It’s very cocked. MARISHA: Yes! 17. MATT: That’s the only time I’ve ever seen a cockedd4. On the edge, yeah. MARISHA: It went in between my dice. MATT: I know, it’s impressive. MARISHA: 17. MATT: 17 hits. LIAM: You’re able to read people’s thoughts afterthat. MARISHA: Six damage. TRAVIS: You’ll only know if it’s Inception or notif it falls over at some point. MATT: That is two impacts as you bludgeon that onewho’s stunned and arc on the other side. It’s looking hurt, but it’s still in the fight. Thatends your turn? MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: All right, Beau’s done. Nott. SAM: Because I’m a rogue, I’m going to go bolt,bolt, bolt and fire three times. MATT: Okay. SAM: We got 25, 25, and 11. MATT: Those creatures are all stunned and they’rewithin your short range, so you have advantage on the attacks. SAM: Nope. 20 and then really low. Shit. MATT: Okay, so they all hit. LAURA: Yeah, but you didn’t– SAM: I didn’t specify which one. I’ve got toreroll all of them. I’m rerolling all of them! MATT: Sam. SAM: It’s all good. I didn’t know I was going tohave advantage! MATT: Now you do. All right, first attack. SAM: All right, first attack is 22. MATT: That hits. SAM: Second attack is 26. MATT: That hits. SAM: Third attack is 25. MATT: That hits. Against which ones? SAM: The one that looked real rough. MATT: The first strike is against him. Roll yoursneak attack on him. SAM: 17 plus five, 22. MATT: The bolt gets lodged in its throat and itjust managed to shrug off the– actually no, that one’s not stunned anymore, because it was the endof your turn. Oh man. I got this all confused. My own fault, go ahead. That first one probably wouldhave hit anyway at this distance, so that damage does take it out. SAM: The first time I rolled the first two hit andthe last one missed. Want to go with those? MATT: Right. SAM: So two hits. MATT: All right. The first one wipes it out. Howdo you want to do this? (cheering) SAM: I would love the bolt to– MATT: Three weeks. Getting rusty. SAM: Oh boy. I would love for the bolts to go–Fjord’s right in front of it, right? MATT: Correct. SAM: I would love the bolt to go out through itshead and stop just shy of Fjord’s face. TRAVIS: Crap fire! MATT: It slowly crumples to the bottom of theocean. TRAVIS: What in tarnation?! MARISHA: Sweet molasses! MATT: Take your next strike. The other one isstunned, so those two other strikes would have hit, so you’re fine. SAM: So I should roll for those? MATT: Yeah, roll damage for the other two. SAM: Damage, okay. Both were the same. Both wereseven points. MATT: All right, so 14 total. Got it. SAM: Is that the one that has the Phantasmal Forceon it? MATT: Correct. SAM: Yes? So that one also takes an extra fivepoints of psychic damage from a goblin on its face. TRAVIS: Hasted Nott, man. MATT: It takes the impact and spins around tryingto look towards you, and it sees you, but then you’re still on its face. It’s very confused. SAM: It’s a confusing fight. MATT: Yeah. It’s not having a good day. TRAVIS: It just wants to live. MATT: That finishes your turn, Nott. Caleb, you’reup. LIAM: I’ve been on my way over to the scrum overthere, trying to help, and I begin to weave Magic Missile again, and he is about to cast it and thething comes behind him and he goes: Whoa! and unleashes on the one right behind him. MagicMissile, level three. Yeah, I need one more. (counting) LAURA: Those dice are really pretty. I like howthey’re themed. LIAM: 15 total. MATT: 15 points of damage. LIAM: I’m not going to move, because it will clawme in half. MATT: Probably. That ends your go, Caleb. Theimpacts in the front of it. Parts of its chest blacken from the blast of the Magic Missile, butit shrugs it off. This one seems relatively, comparably unharmed to the others. It’s taken afew hits, but it’s doing all right. That finishes your go, Caleb. Fjord, you’re up. TRAVIS: I’m worried about Caleb. Okay, let’s doit. MARISHA: Okay. This could be awesome. TRAVIS: I’m going to grab Beau’s arm and go: Comeon, first mate, and cast Thunder Step. Take the falchion and shove it into the bottom of theocean. MATT: He slams the falchion into the ground.There’s a blast of electrical energy and this force wave immediately sucks in and they’remissing. They’re gone. Where are you guys going? TRAVIS: We’re going to come to Caleb’s aid righthere. Does that sound good? MARISHA: Mm-hmm. TRAVIS: And right behind me. MARISHA: Right behind Fjord. TRAVIS: All right, there you go. MARISHA: Yep, thank you. MATT: You got it. TRAVIS: That’s 3d10 plus Hex. MATT: Does it get a dex saving throw against thatto try and reduce damage? TRAVIS: A constitution saving throw. Yes. MATT: That is going to be a 20. TRAVIS: Yeah, that saves. MATT: So does it take damage? Half damage? TRAVIS: It takes half. MATT: Got it. LAURA: What about Yasha? TRAVIS: That’s 20 solid, so just ten. Ten points. MATT: Ten damage. As the water explodes and thensucks in, the creature is stunned and is looking very hurt, but it’s still (snarling). TRAVIS: Cool. It’s only within ten feet, and Ithink Yasha’s 15 feet away from where Fjord was. MATT: Correct. The creature is ten spaces wide. TRAVIS: Awesome. With my bonus action, can Itransfer my Hex to that fuckstick? MATT: You can. Fuckstick has been Hexed. TRAVIS: Oh sorry wait, d6 for Hex. That’s six. MATT: For which one? Oh, for Hex? TRAVIS: Yeah, because I cast Hex on that bastard. MATT: No, Hex was the other one that had died. TRAVIS: Thank you. You’re right. Never mind. MATT: Sorry. TRAVIS: No, that’s okay. MATT: That’s all right. That finishes Fjord’s go.Jester, Caduceus, you’re up. Caduceus, you reappear in your space. LAURA: Oh, hi, Caduceus! TALIESIN: Hey. LAURA: I’m going to move my Spiritual Weapon downto try to hit the one next to Yasha. TRAVIS: Let’s go now! MATT: Go for it. TRAVIS: Let’s go! MATT: It has advantage because it’s stunned. LAURA: Oh sweet! Doesn’t it balance out, though,because it would’ve been at disadvantage? MATT: It’s a Spiritual Weapon. It’s not material,so it’s not hindered by– LAURA: 17. MATT: 17 hits. LAURA: Okay. Eight plus four is 12 points! MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering) LAURA: I’m going to use the Spiritual Weapon andtry to shove it into its mouth over and over again, saying: Eat it! It’s good! MATT: Eventually it jams itself into thiscreature’s maw repeatedly as it backs away. The back of its shelled head begins to crack before itsplinters at the back. The Spiritual Weapon emerges from the back of its skull and it crumplesto the ground. TRAVIS: Yeah! LAURA: Then for my action I’m going to say: Oh,hi, Fjord, and I’m going to jump up and land on its back next to me. MATT: Over here? All right. LAURA: I’m going to cast Inflict Wounds at2nd-level. MATT: All right. Because of Caleb’s position, youdo have flanking bonus, so you have advantage on the attack roll. LAURA: Ooh! Okay. TRAVIS: It’s a spell, so there’s no disadvantageright? LAURA: Right, it’s a touch, so it’s not a meleeattack. MATT: Technically it’s considered a melee attack,so you would have disadvantage on the strike, but it give you advantage because he’s there, so it’sjust a straight roll. LAURA: Okay. 24. MATT: 24 hits. TRAVIS: Yeah! It’s like, “What’s up over here?” LAURA: That’s how many? How many do I roll? 4d10–no, wait. 4d10. MATT: 4d10. Ooh. Roll some damage. LAURA: 14 points of crab damage. MATT: As you reach out, after flipping over andlanding behind it, you grab the back of it, and you see the divine energy pulse through, this dullgrayish-blue energy arc down your forearms, hit the shell, and these sparks of dark energy breakthrough, causing these small bits of its shell to break and flake off in areas. It’s shocked fromthe impact. Did a pretty decent bit of hurt to it. That the end of your turn? I believe it does.Caduceus, what are you doing? TALIESIN: I’m going to Sacred Flame this guy. I’mgoing to step back a little bit. 15 feet. MATT: It’s going to make an attack towards you. TALIESIN: Yeah. Get rid of your stuff. MATT: That’s going to be 21 to hit. TALIESIN: Oh, that hits. MATT: Okay. You take eight plus six points ofdamage, that’s 14, and you are grappled, so you do not move. TALIESIN: Okay. I still get my attack, though? MATT: You do. Also make a constitution savingthrow to see if you can maintain Bless. TALIESIN: 14 points of damage? And constitutionsaving throw. Nine. MATT: Nine. Bless fades. Those who were blessed byCaduceus, you no longer get your d4 bonuses. TALIESIN: Sorry! TRAVIS: That’s okay. We’ve appreciated it thisentire fight. TALIESIN: Make a dex saving throw. MATT: Dex saving throw? Natural one! TALIESIN: All right, that’s nice. Take sevenpoints of radiant damage. MATT: You got it. After it grabs and pulls you in,you actually blast it from inside its claw. You release the spell from your staff and the flameburns up the outside, blackening the outside of its crustacean-like armored shell. Ending yourturn, Caduceus, correct? All right. It’s now its turn. It has Caduceus grappled in one claw. Yep.Yeah, it’s going to continue its path. It releases Caduceus, and it’s going to go all in on itsoriginal quarry, which is Caleb. It’s a natural 18 plus six, that’s 24 to hit. LIAM: No, that hits, sorry. I was goingbackwards. MATT: 15 points of bludgeoning damage, and you aregrappled. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: Second attack. That’s going to be 20 tohit. LIAM: Yeah. MATT: That is 11 points of bludgeoning damage. Asit slams both of its claws into you, it’s grabbing you from both sides of your torso and legs,pulling apart as the pain hits in. It grabs you in towards its face and its tendrils lap around yourhead and neck area. Make a constitution saving throw for me. LAURA: It feels like Frumpkin, only painful. LIAM: Ten. MATT: As the venom pulses into your body, you feelyour entire torso, legs, arms, seize with searing pain. You are paralyzed and poisoned. SAM: Ugh! What does that do? LIAM: What if the roll had actually been–shite, 13? Would that have changed it? MATT: Why would you have had to change it? LIAM: Because I have the transmuter’s stone, whichis giving me proficiency on constitution saves, if I’m remembering correctly. MATT: I trust you on that. 13 would resist it.It’s a DC 13. LIAM: Proficiency in constitution saving throws.That’s what I have. MATT: So yeah, and that would be enough to resistit. TRAVIS: You found that fast. You’re turning intoMercer. I can’t find shit in that book! MATT: As the poison begins to pulse into yoursystem, in the moment the pain begins to hit the back of your skull, you immediately glance towardsthe transmuter’s stone that you’re clutching in your right hand, and with that, you feel theenergy pulse through your body and shrug off the toxin from entering the deep parts of yoursystem. TRAVIS: Put it up top, Widogast! LIAM: There’s a slight crooked little smilepeeking out from underneath Frumpkin on my head. MATT: Perfect. Ending its turn, Yasha’s up. SAM: End it, Yash. TRAVIS: Can she peek in the doorway? MATT: Sure. TRAVIS: Not that she doesn’t think all of herfriends can’t handle it, but– MATT: She looks inside, and there, skitter– no,I’m kidding. (laughter) LIAM: The queen. TRAVIS: I was like, no, I’m not killing Ashley’scharacter! MATT: Looking through the interior of the nowpartially jagged, broken entrance to this temple’s base, you can see this very heavily covered,seaweed-infested interior that wraps around the inside, and one central, big, knotted tangle ofseaweed. TRAVIS: Cool. MATT: Is that Yasha’s turn? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: Top of the round: Beau and Nott. TRAVIS: That’ll drop her rage, too. MATT: Yes, it will. It’s where Nott’s been thewhole time. Hiding right over there. MARISHA: Okay, you want me to see if I can punchthis guy first? SAM: Yeah, you go first. You’re way closer. MARISHA: Okay. I’m going to take my staff for thisone. I’m going to, between Fjord, go: Excuse me! See if I can get it. MATT: Excuse me! TRAVIS: Back, you! MARISHA: Get! Get on! MATT: You scoot around and jam it. MARISHA: Oh my god! TRAVIS: It was a 20 for two seconds. MARISHA: Why does this always happen to me? Yeah,that’s pretty good, though. 21. Okay, that’s 18 plus two, so 20. MATT: For your second attack? MARISHA: No, for the disadvantage first attack.Right? Disadvantage? So the first one is six damage. No, sorry, seven damage. Three plus four.Then the next one is missing, definitely missing with a two. MATT: Unfortunately, no. Your first strike isprodding it with the staff. You still have your bonus action. MARISHA: Yeah, I guess I’ll just punch it one moretime. TRAVIS: The club punch. Bitch! MARISHA: Yeah. Through the crowd, grabbing itshair. TRAVIS: Walk away with some weave in your hand. MARISHA: Jesus, I don’t think that’s going to doit either, unless– 14? MATT: 14 misses, unfortunately. Doesn’t miss; youimpact and reach through and– MARISHA: Yeah. MATT: That finishes Beau’s turn, Nott, you’re up. SAM: I’ll swim closer. I’ll fire. Actually, withone hand I will take another swig of booze, if I can under the water somehow, and with the otherhand, I’ll fire. MATT: There you go. SAM: Natural 20. MATT: All right, roll your sneak attack damage. MARISHA: Fucking one-handed bandit. SAM: Do I double it? MATT: Yes, you do. SAM: Dice damage is doubled. (counting) 23. MATT: How do you want to do this? (cheering) SAM: Let’s see here. It’s a crossbow bolt. Iwould, again, like the crossbow bolt to tickle Fjord’s ear as it whizzes by. TRAVIS: A little slice? SAM: Yeah, just a little. MATT: There’s a brief bit of warm, hot, sharp painon the outside of your earlobe. SAM: Sorry! MATT: –as the bolt enters the base of thecreature’s skull. You don’t see it protrude. You don’t even know where it went. You just see itvanish and the creature is standing there for a second. As it falls onto its back, its legs allcurl in like a spider and its claws close in. SAM: Accidentally, because I rolled a natural 20,I shoot again. MATT: That’s right! SAM: Shit, sorry! MATT: This time you, with the falchion, rake itout of the air. SAM: Sorry, it’s the thing! It does it! TRAVIS: I don’t know if I believe you. MATT: A few moments pass as you guys glance aroundthe area to take in whether or not there’s some danger. You manage to pull off the pincer fromaround your body. TALIESIN: I’m all right. I think everybody couldtake a few minutes. LAURA: Beau, Caleb, you guys look bloody. MARISHA: Does this look bad? SAM and TALIESIN: Ugh! LIAM: Caleb pulls up and there’s claw piercing allalong the ribs. LAURA: Yeah, looks like shit. SAM: But the salt water– LAURA: Yeah, it’s cleaning it. I think we shouldmaybe rest a little bit. LIAM: Caleb sits down in the muck. TRAVIS: Actually, if we went inside, then at leastanything that’s swimming overhead with big teeth might not see us. TALIESIN: That’s true. LAURA: As long as nothing attacks us inside. TALIESIN: I can take ten minutes and give everyonea little bit of a boost. TRAVIS: That would be great. Yasha, do you seeanything in there? (quietly) No. (laughter) SAM: (exaggerated Swedish accent) No, I don’t! MATT: She looks back from the inside and goes– LAURA: He tried to do it! TRAVIS: Error 404! MATT: The lip quiver. (laughter) MATT: She looks back and goes, “There’s a clusterof seaweed inside.” Steps into the interior– doesn’t enter the entire structure, but steps inthe middle, waiting for any sort of direction from you guys. TRAVIS: Deuce, do you want to take a look, makesure that it’s not the ravenous variety? TALIESIN: I’ll look in the door before we sitdown. Is this thing giving me a vibe? MATT: Make a nature check for me, if you don’tmind. TALIESIN: Nature check, oh no. TRAVIS: I’ll help Caleb over to the door. TALIESIN: My nature check weirdly sucks. LAURA: I’ll help Beau! TALIESIN: Yeah, I know, it’s funny how my naturecheck is terrible. 13. MATT: Looking at the seaweed in this interior, itis of the same variety as that which is clustered around the rest of this tower. It is not similar,from what you can tell, to what you encountered at Dashilla’s lair in the Diver’s Grave. You’re notcertain if it has any interest in you guys, but it doesn’t seem to be reacting to your presence. TALIESIN: It doesn’t seem to be a problem. We’rejust going to be here for a minute, and then we’ll be on our way. Let me know if you’ve got anyissue, and we’ll do our best to stay out of your business. MATT: Make a persuasion check. SAM: Roll for kelp. TALIESIN: 15! LAURA: I like that, regardless of the character,Taliesin likes to charm plant life. TALIESIN: I do! Plant life needs love, man. MATT: Life needs love to live! TALIESIN: Aw, see, now I feel better about thewhole– thank you. LIAM: (NPR announcer voice)This is Grass Talk on KCRW. MATT: What are the rest of you doing? MARISHA: I would like to go in and find a littlebed of seaweed and lay down for a minute. LAURA: Not the stuff in the middle. Maybe just layon the silt. TALIESIN: Anybody who needs a heal, I’m going todo the ten-minute– I’m going to start in the interior of this the Prayer of Healing, so anybodywho needs– MARISHA: Is anybody against a short rest? LIAM: I need a short rest. TALIESIN: Can we afford a short rest? TRAVIS: Yeah, we have 24 hours of breathing, sowe’re okay. LIAM: Yes, please. MARISHA: I’m pretty tapped on ki points and– TALIESIN: I will not say no to a short rest. MARISHA: — blood. TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s get inside. TALIESIN: Nothing’s looking for us. LIAM: I am dropping and leaning againstBeauregard. TALIESIN: Never mind, I’m not casting the spell. TRAVIS: Jester, that was very impressive, I mustsay. LAURA: What? Oh, you mean that little InflictWounds that I did? TRAVIS: And the use of the lollipop. Really nicestuff. LAURA: Oh yeah, that lollipop’s pretty freakingcool! MARISHA: That’s old business. We’ve seen thatone. MATT: As you guys take a short rest, you can useyour hit dice to heal up. TRAVIS: We’ll be inside. MARISHA: Are you doing your thing? No? TALIESIN: No, if we’re taking a short rest. That’sif you don’t want a short rest, but you want to roll out. MARISHA: Copy. SAM: While we’re around down here, can I swimaround, look for any other trap doors, or doors, or doors? MATT: Sure. Make a perception check at first. SAM: Perception. Four. MATT: Okay. Then make an investigation check. SAM: Four. Oh wait, plus! I get pluses on that.13. MATT: That’s better. Looking around the interior,there doesn’t appear to be any trap doors or anything that’s hidden amongst the space. There’sthe heavy clusters of seaweed that fill up along the walls, and it largely obscures– when you lookup, you can see– because it’s dark inside, aside from the light that’s there. At the very top ofthe tower, where the light tends to fade, you see the open circular top where the faint bit of bluelight from the sky above comes through the ocean. You can see all the different slowly-wavingtendrils of seaweed cluttering up a lot of that space. The center area, you glance over, and youcan see where that big mass of seaweed and underwater plant life is. Along the edge of whereit is, you prod it, and it softly gives a little bit, past the floor. LAURA: Ooh! SAM: There’s a door or something over here! TRAVIS: Yasha’s back up to full. LAURA: Can I have been outside looking at the(clicking) that we fought so I can look at him and see what’s going on? TRAVIS: Careful as you head out there. You don’tknow what’s above you. SAM: He cares about you. MATT: The tendrils that are from its head that yousaw trailing behind it are as long as the length of its body. There’s about 12 of them that driftbehind it, though they’re all limp now, and it just lies there, destroyed. It’s wearing an old,slightly tattered robe, who knows how ancient. That’s as much detail as you can make off of it,other than its jaws limply hanging open, these dull lifeless flaps where you can see the toothyinterior of its mouth as it hangs. LAURA: Does its busted-up robe have pockets? MATT: Make an investigation check. SAM: Oh, that was a journey. LAURA: Yeah, that was. What was it before Iaccidentally hit it? SAM: Three. LAURA: Okay. Oh, four! Hey! MATT: Look at that! Change your group name to TheMighty Four here today. TALIESIN: We are not paying attention to things. MATT: I know! Well, you’re all a little bustedabout that previous battle. No pockets, no keepsakes. It looks like it’s pretty plainlyadorned. TALIESIN: Is there something in the middle of allthat tendril in the center of this tower? Is it obscuring something? LAURA: That’s what he said. It’s actually a holein the middle. MATT: You go over and look. A lot of this is–there’s roots around the edge of it where some of the plant has rooted itself to the stone floor ofthis temple, but there’s large portions of it that go beyond those roots. Upon pushing on it, it hassome give below that central area. It looks like there’s some sort of opening or a space below thecenter. TALIESIN: Oh, I suppose we’re going to be headingdown. TRAVIS: I don’t want to disturb the fauna. Isthere a more genteel way to make our way through? TALIESIN: We’re going to be having to head downbelow. We’re going to try not to disturb your root structure, but if there’s another way down thatyou might happen to know of, we would appreciate any clue as to what that may be. No shift in thewater, nothing? No little twitch? MATT: No. TALIESIN: I apologize to the interruption of yourvery calm day. LIAM: Did one of you do healing and I missed it? TALIESIN: We did a short rest, so everybodythumped. Are you all right with where you are? LAURA: Hey, you know what, though? I bet that theseaweed is actually really happy because before it had those crab things, and claws and stuffconstantly fucking with it. Now we’re really nice, and it’s calm and peaceful in here. TALIESIN: I mean, we don’t have the best history,but sure. LAURA: With this seaweed specifically. TALIESIN: Yeah, that’s fair. TRAVIS: Jester, you find anything on that guy? LAURA: Oh, he had a robe on. TRAVIS: No pendants or necklaces or keys? LAURA: Not that I could see. It seemed like apretty old robe that didn’t have any pockets or anything. He did have really long, tendril-y hair,which was pretty cool! Did you want to bring the body inside or something so that whatever is outthere won’t see that we killed it? TRAVIS: Yeah, let’s do that. Yasha will help youpull the body back in. SAM: Why don’t you guys go out there together on awalkaround, just a little– you guys could go together is all I’m saying! TRAVIS: Who, Yasha and her? SAM: No, Fjord! Fjord and Jessie could gotogether! LAURA: But Yasha’s really strong. SAM: Sure, but so are you, and you could showhim– LAURA: Okay. TRAVIS: I don’t mind. SAM: Go on, have fun, take your time. TRAVIS: All right? SAM: Do you need any money? LAURA: No, I’m okay right now. Thanks, Mom. Thisis the body; this is what I was talking about with the tendrils, with the hair and stuff. MATT: It’s pretty gross. TRAVIS: Is there any jewelry or pockets or stuffon it? Keys? MATT: Make an investigation check. TRAVIS: I’m real good at these. LAURA: There’s no pockets. I already looked andstuff. TRAVIS: That’s cocked. That’s worse. 11, no, yeah,11. MATT: As Jester said, no pockets, no trinkets.Nothing on it but the tattered robe it’s wearing and its weird, somewhat almost dolphin-likerubbery flesh. LAURA: Ew. TRAVIS: Let’s pick it up. Maybe we can offer it asa gift to the (slurping) as we make our way down. LAURA: Ew, creepy! I’ll hold its hair if you wantto hold its feet. TRAVIS: Okay. Are you grabbing the tendrils? Ugh. MATT: You guys drag its body back over to thetower base. TRAVIS: Caduceus, you okay with us chunking thisinto the– LAURA: Wait, wait! TRAVIS: What? LAURA: What if it’s a door or something? Why wouldwe let somebody know that we’re coming if it’s a doorway? We could peek our head in down below. TRAVIS: I meant we were going to toss the bodyinto the seaweed and let it have a snack. TALIESIN: I don’t know if– well, I mean, place itnext to the seaweed, see if it has any– I don’t think this is carnivorous, but it’s worthchecking. LAURA: I think it’s just seaweed, Fjord. TRAVIS: Oh okay, I thought it was the gnarlykind. TALIESIN: No, it’s not that kind. TRAVIS: Oh, okay, never mind. Sorry, Imisunderstood. MATT: That’s okay. What’s up? What’re you guysdoing? You’ve taken a short rest. TALIESIN: How’s that door that we found in themiddle of the seaweed looking? SAM: I could try to move some of the seaweed withMage Hand or something. (whooshing) MATT: Okay. The seaweed itself is pretty knottedand tangled and twisted around itself. As the Mage Hand gives and pulls, it very softly releases itshold on the other tendrils and pulls apart, like someone sweet talked a bit of it. It’s stilltangled and still a lot of it there, but it’s not holding taut. You imagine that someone couldprobably climb through it. LAURA: Did you want to climb through it? SAM: No, but I will. It’s my job. TALIESIN: I’ll go right after you, too, just incase something goes wrong. SAM: Will it sting me? TALIESIN: I don’t think so. I think that they’repretty friendly. LAURA: I’ll go touch it, just in case. MATT: Okay. As you reach out and your hand graspsthe edge of the seaweed, it moves with your touch and drifts a bit. It’s seaweed. LAURA: Oh, it’s nice! It’s nice seaweed. Thankyou, seaweed. TRAVIS: Hello, bees. SAM: I’ll go down. I’ll push through and see howfar I can get. MATT: Okay. You dive in and pull your way through.Reaching up, you’re now in an inverse state. What is up is down as you pull yourself below andupward, sifting and yanking through and finding sections where you have to pull and find a space.Thankfully, you’re the smallest of the troupe, so it’s not as hard for you. You begin to descend,ten, 20, 30 feet or so, and the seaweed isn’t dissipating. SAM: It’s just dark. MATT: It’s just dark. You have darkvision, butright now all you can see is clusters of seaweed. It’s very Poltergeist, in a way, as you’re pullingyour way through. TALIESIN: Fjord, I think– MATT: About 40 feet down, your hands reachthrough. The small tunnel that you’ve been clambering through below opens up on the sides.You glance and look inside, and you appear to be in some sort of a spherical chamber, roughly about60 feet across, side to side. SAM: And I’m at the top of it, right? MATT: You’re at the top of it, looking down. Thereare clusters of seaweed. All around it, there’s plant life that’s embedded in aspects of it. Abunch of the seaweed is all coming up and tangling towards the center to create this upward column ofplant matter. SAM: That’s where the roots were, and it wasgrowing up through the tunnel or something? Oof. I don’t see any signs of life or light orstructures? MATT: Make a perception check. SAM: Oh, I’m terrible with this. 18! MATT: Taking a moment, very carefully, eyeing thespace, no signs of life. Oh! SAM: What? What was that? MATT: Two little fish. TRAVIS: (chomping) SAM: (screaming) MARISHA: They’re this big. SAM: They went for my jugular. TRAVIS: They’re very smart. MATT: Roll initiative against the death minnows.Yeah, the place looks relatively empty beyond the plant life that exists there. SAM: I’ll take out my wire and make a little phonecall. Come in, Caleb, hello. Will you let the group know that it’s a 40-foot climb through darkgrossness, and then there’s a chamber down here. You can reply to this message. LIAM: You would advise coming? SAM: I don’t want to go back through it again, soI’m going to stick down here. If you guys want to come, just come. You can reply to this message. LIAM: She wants us to rally below. It is gross onthe way down, but okay-ish. LAURA: Gross how? LIAM: I crawl down. MATT: There you go. TRAVIS and LAURA: I follow. MATT: Everybody follows? You all head down. It’s aslimy climb. Since you’re all a little larger than Nott, especially Yasha, there’s a bit ofdifficulty in pulling through. At some points, Yasha angrily tears bits apart and starts makingher way down. TALIESIN: Sorry. MATT: You all eventually manage to clamberthrough, slipping into the lower chamber. All of you get to see this large, spherical chamber wherethe wrapping seaweed spirals upward to fill that space. The structure is semi-familiar in size anddesign to you, Fjord. TRAVIS: I’ve seen a place like this once before,when we were in the temple previously with Avantika. If you will help me, you could searchthe floors and the walls for any sort of recessed sphere shape. LAURA: (stage whisper) This whole thing is arecessed sphere shape, Fjord! TRAVIS: I think it needs to be about yay big. TALIESIN: I’m casting Light. MATT: Light fills the space. You can now see. SAM: Last time you went down into one of these, wehad to make a very quick exit. Do we have a plan for making a very quick exit? TRAVIS: Well, if we find we something that lookslike the previous situation, then maybe we could send some of us out of here before we put the keyin the lock. LAURA: Will the key in the lock release the(clicking tongue)? TRAVIS: No. As far we know. I don’t think itwill. TALIESIN: I can cast Water Walk if we have to. MARISHA: Yeah, I have a weird question because youbecame a champion after– well, you became a champion, and Avantika was a champion. WhenAvantika died, someone else become the champion? TRAVIS: I don’t think so. I think it’s to get thethree spheres in the three temples. She did hers and died. I have the second and the third, butthat’s my logic. I must concede, I don’t know how many temples there are. I’m only going off of thatart that we saw in the temple. LAURA: There were three in the art, and there werethree balls, and you got the two balls. SAM: This is ball three? TRAVIS and MARISHA: Ball two. TRAVIS: Now, unless there’s two holes in here.There should only be one, in theory. TALIESIN: I’m taking a long look around duringthis. SAM: Ball two? Wait. You have two in you. MATT: Are you looking in the space? Make aperception check. LAURA: He’s holding two keys, basically. MARISHA: He got one ball. We put in one ball. Wegot another ball. He has two balls. TALIESIN: Ten. MARISHA: And we’re about to put another ball inthere. MATT: A lot of plant. A lot of plant matter. A bitof stone. LIAM: There is no guarantee there is anothertemple somewhere, with another person with dreams like you and Avantika, who has already done this?This could be the final piece of the puzzle, if we understand the carvings we saw correctly, even. Wedon’t actually know, do we? TRAVIS: No. LAURA: Could you ask your god? Could you ask him? TRAVIS: How do I do that, Jester? LAURA: Well, do it like I do to the Traveler– TRAVIS: Does he answer you when you talk to him? LAURA: Yeah. TRAVIS: He does? LIAM: I’m going to start looking around. LAURA: Hey, Traveler! MATT: Make an investigation check. LAURA: Yeah, he totally just said, “What’s up.” TRAVIS: Would you ask him if he knows anythingabout this? LAURA: Hey Traveler, have you heard anything aboutthis weirdo Uk’otoa guy? SAM, TALIESIN, and LAURA: (whispers) Uk’otoa. MATT: (whispers) “Uk’otoa.” LAURA: He has heard about as much as we have. (laughter) MATT: What did you roll? LIAM: 27. MATT: 27 investigation. A few things catch youreye. As you’re all having this conversation, Caleb dives towards the bottom and begins rummagingthrough the base of the seaweed to look on the base. The first thing you notice is there’s askeleton. SAM: A skeleton? MATT: Yes. A skeleton that is wrapped in leatherarmor. The bones of the skeleton, you could see a lot of mineral deposits have gathered around it,where the skeleton looks weirdly swollen. A lot of buildup on it, like you’ve seen those sunken shipsthat look lumpy. You find that. The leather armor is pristine, but the skeleton is fucked. You alsosee, clustered around the base there, numbers of small, shiny bits of material that the light thatCaduceus had cast is refracting off it, coins: gold, platinum, copper, silver. You look andrummage in the one side. You find a glass vial that is tangled in weeds that has a dull,swirling, blue-gray color to it that’s thick. You pull it out, and it’s still stopped and kept. Youfull-on Terminator-scanned the base of this area. You glance over, and other people are watchingCaleb as he starts rummaging through and finding there is a collection down here. There is asix-inch-wide, thick glass sphere that appears to be empty that’s resting on the ground as well. LIAM: An empty, standalone sphere? MATT: Yeah. It was rolled into and wrapped aroundby some of the local plant life. You do see as well a small, green piece of stone, carved to looklike a feather almost, but it’s made of a deep jade or green stone, and a small piece of agatestone that catches your eye, mostly covered in grime. You rub off and polish it. You can see theagate stone from beneath it. LIAM: Agate, A-G-A-T-E? SAM: Is someone writing this stuff down? MARISHA: I’m about to do that. LIAM: Potion, sphere, feather-shaped stone, and anagate stone. MATT: Agate stone, skeleton. LIAM: That’s four things. Plus the coins. TRAVIS: I don’t know what agate is. What doesagate look like? MATT: I’ll show you. LAURA: It’s brownish. SAM: Do you have it all, Marisha? MARISHA: Yeah. The feather was– LIAM: It’s a stone shaped like a feather. LAURA: I gave you some agate dice. Those littleones that I gave you, those were green agate. SAM: I don’t remember. MATT: And plenty of coins. As you are rummagingthrough the coins, and you shift through where the glass sphere was, it rolls off the side. Beneathwhere it settles with much of the coins, you can see a lot of coins are filling the space, butthere’s a little bit of a divot, roughly about the size of half a fist, in the floor. LIAM: Does it look like this sphere that I’vefound is the same shape as this? MATT: No. The sphere that you found is larger. Itwouldn’t fit. It was resting in the space. It has grime around it. You rub it off a bit. TRAVIS: It’s a see-through glass, or is the samecolor? MATT: It’s a see-through glass. LIAM: I will alert everyone that this stuff itdown here. I gathered up all of the things that are not coins. LAURA: Oh look, coins! MATT: The skeleton as well? LIAM: No. LAURA: What is that armor? SAM: We’re picking up coins, Matt. MATT: Okay. You guys start gathering and shovelingcoins into your pockets and pouches and everything. Both of you guys, make investigationchecks for me to glean how much you can find amongst the tangled seaweed. SAM: 25. LAURA: 11. (inaudible murmuring) SAM: Keep going. LAURA: How much money did we find? MATT: How long are you taking? Are you going untilyou can’t find any more? It would take you about 15 minutes to do it. It’s a lot of coins. SAM: Five minutes. LAURA: I’m going to keep going. I mean, as long aseverybody is hanging around talking, I’m going to keep searching. MATT: Okay. You guys keep searching. What are therest of you doing? MARISHA: Caleb, are you going to Identify thesethings? LIAM: Are we going to take the time do that now? TRAVIS: Well, I figured we’re in a safe-ish space.I don’t know. We can do it on the ship. LIAM: I will need some time. I heard youwhispering about this bauble, so I will begin on it. MARISHA: Well, the glass sphere makes me nervous.I feel like I heard of things like this before. LIAM: Well, if someone has seen us through it,they already have. TRAVIS: My question to you– oh. They could see usthrough the glass sphere? LIAM: In theory. I sat down on the floor– ohshoot. I cannot do it now because my books are in your bag. If I take them out, they would beruined. LAURA: Yeah, I haven’t opened it. Don’t worry. TRAVIS: That’s okay. We can do it on the ship.With that crazy investigation check of yours, did you find any recessions in the floor? LIAM: Yeah. TRAVIS: Just one? LIAM: Yeah. MARISHA: Can I get a closer look at the skeletonwith the armor to see if the armor looks identifiable? MATT: The armor is studded leather. It’s wellmade. There’s a bunch of black sediment and general slime and grime from the red plant lifethat’s gathered around the various plates of it that are fastened together, but it rubs offrelatively easily. It’s well made. MARISHA: No iconography? No identifying symbols? MATT: Make an investigation check for me. MARISHA: Don’t fail me now! Okay. 23. MATT: It looks fairly plain. As you pull it up,the bones snap and the skull tumbles off of the neck and spinal cord. As that happens, you glanceon the inside. While it looks plain on the outside, on the inside of the shoulder and theback of the plate, you can see faintly pressed runes. LAURA: Yeah! Magic armor! LIAM: Too clean to be normal. TRAVIS: I don’t recognize that armor, do I? MATT: Not really. TALIESIN: I’m going to point out, I’d be careful.Whatever this armor is, it didn’t seem to help this fellow much. MARISHA: That’s a good point. LAURA: What do you think killed him? TRAVIS: Does he look like his appendages are allattached? Any cracks on the skull or face or any sort of– MATT: Make a medicine check. TRAVIS: Me? MATT: Yeah. You’re the one who’s asking. LAURA: Well, I did say, “What you think killedhim?” TRAVIS: Yeah. Hey Jester, could you make a– MATT: I’ll give it to you. TRAVIS: Thank you. SAM: She’s searching for coins. MATT: You each get to roll as you take a look atit. Game the system. LIAM: Caduceus. Can you talk to this dead person? TRAVIS: Natural 20! TALIESIN: I didn’t think to put that in my bag forthis particular run. MATT: What did you roll? LAURA: I got a 16. MATT: Okay. Looking at it, the lower parts of theribcage on the inside, as well as the hips and the pelvis of the skeleton, are crushed. You look atsome of the crushed bones, and you pull it back; you can see scrapes across the bone, like edges ofsomething sharp that had crushed through it also had some sort of an edge to it. TRAVIS: Maybe it got crushed by the pincers andthen crawled down here where they couldn’t follow. LAURA: Oh, true. MARISHA: My brain went super elaborate and thoughtthat this chamber crushes people if you fuck it up. That makes way more sense. LAURA: I thought that maybe somebody sat on hiships, like he was having sex or something, but it was too much for him. MARISHA: Oh man. Reverse cowgirl death. TALIESIN: Here’s the question. Do you do thisalone, or do we stay here with you? We’re at a disadvantage. TRAVIS: I think I need to do it alone. If I’mgoing to risk getting out quickly, I don’t want you to have to do the same. There’s only onerecession in here, so one sphere. TALIESIN: Let’s maybe keep a friend with MisterFjord. We can keep eyes on him in the chamber. LAURA: Oh, Frumpkin, you mean? TALIESIN: Yeah. LAURA: Maybe you can cast Haste on Fjord, and thatway he can get away quickly if he needs to. LIAM: By the time we clear the room, there wouldnot be much time left to that spell. TALIESIN: Which I think it’ll be fine with justFjord and Frumpkin– TRAVIS: I do have my mariner’s armor. I have mynormal speed. TALIESIN: We could be outside, up in the top layerof the temple, and wait for you, whether or not you need help, or whether or not it’s time torun. TRAVIS: Sure. I don’t think there’s anything elseto do. (background music) SAM: Don’t you need someone to stay with you incase you have to make– What if you turn evil? TALIESIN: Do you want to be in the room? TRAVIS: I’m not going to turn evil! I’m not goingto turn evil. I rub my cut earlobe. SAM: She did it. TRAVIS: Now look. I think we’re overthinking it,right? Same as before, I anticipate some crazy arcane stuff to activate. Maybe a little rumbleand a shake. You guys have been more than accommodating. You don’t need to be down here withme when it happens. If something does go wrong, that should be my burden, my price to pay, notyours. TALIESIN: We’ll see through Frumpkin anyway. LAURA: What if the chamber closes and you’re stuckdown here, Fjord? TRAVIS: I don’t think it will, and only because,if Uk’otoa really wants me to do all of this for him, what good would trapping me down here do? Ihave the third sphere. I don’t think he’s going to hamstring me like that. LIAM: You know him pretty well? TRAVIS: No, I don’t, but I wouldn’t gum up the oneperson that was bringing me the thing that I needed to get out of demigod jail. LIAM: You still mean to veer away from all thisonce we’re done here? TRAVIS: Yeah. I’d like to. I don’t know what thatlooks like. I don’t even know how that’ll go, but I don’t want to release a sea-snake beast on theworld. LAURA: Well, that’s good. TRAVIS: Yeah. LIAM: I’m going to expend a use of ExpeditiousRetreat on myself which will, A, make me a little bit quicker. I would change the nature of theTransmuter’s Stone to let me see in the dark, and I send Frumpkin to glomp onto Fjord’s arm andshoulder. SAM: Better hand him that hat. TALIESIN: We’ll be waiting for you upstairs. TRAVIS: Yeah, fair enough. TALIESIN: If anything starts to go wrong, we’lltry to get to you. If you’re encumbered, we’ll try to clear a path, and once you’re up with us, I’llbring everybody to the surface. TRAVIS: If you hear the signal, take off. Youremember the signal, right? TALIESIN: No. TRAVIS: (choked screaming) TALIESIN: I feel like that signal happens a lot,though. LAURA: That’s a common signal. TALIESIN: We hear it a lot. LAURA: I’m going to sit down really fast and say:Hey, Traveler. I know that he’s doing something for this other god guy, but we both know thisother god is pretty stupid, so if you do me a favor and watch after Fjord, that would be reallygreat, because he’s done a lot of things that has really helped out with stuff for you and he’sgoing to be pretty helpful in helping me get to you later this year. Anyway, I really like you andI really like him and I would like if you would help out, please. Thank you. TRAVIS: Can I go and sit down right in front ofJester? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Can I help you? TRAVIS: Well, what’d he say? LAURA: Did you hear what I was saying? TRAVIS: Kind of. You had a little projection onit, yeah. LAURA: Oh shit, I thought I was whispering. Holdon, let me think. I’m listening. TRAVIS: Jester. LAURA: What? TRAVIS: You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine. Iappreciate the sentiment. It’s okay, you can go. LAURA: I really hope he does help you. TRAVIS: Me too. LAURA: Be safe, Fjord. (whispering) And also,don’t turn evil, okay? But if you do, I’ll still be your friend. I mean, it’s okay. You know, somepeople are evil. It’s okay. Just don’t turn evil to me. TRAVIS: Or anyone else? Just you? LAURA: Really, any of us would be nice, but– TRAVIS: Deal. LAURA: Okay. (background music) TRAVIS: All right, get going. MARISHA: While all that was happening, I waspicking up some platinum and gold that I found– LAURA: That’s if there’s any left! SAM and LAURA: What, what! MARISHA: Combing the silt, and I’ve got thearmor. MATT: Oh, you’ve grabbed the leather armor? Okay.You guys all make your way up and begin to clamber through. TALIESIN: I go last, and on the way out, I tapFjord on the shoulder. Good luck, and I’m looking forward to seeing you upstairs. I cast Protectionfrom Good and Evil, protection from evil. TRAVIS: I don’t know what that does. TALIESIN: You know what that does, though. MATT: I do. MARISHA: Good luck, captain. TALIESIN: Just in case. MATT: All right. As you all ascend and vanish fromsight, leaving Fjord and Frumpkin behind, you look down upon the base of this interior chamber– thesame recess that you had met before at Urukayxl beneath the temple of the yuan-ti. You can see,now that you’re surveying it by yourself, standing over it, the hints of the same spiral grooves thatall emerge from it in the similar pattern as the one you previously saw, carving up the walls andmeeting the upper area with the faint bits of runes occasionally visible along the same form ofprison-enchantment placed on this chamber as the one you’ve already seen. TRAVIS: I will kneel down in front of therecession and I will look at the eye that’s in the pommel of the falchion. (different voice) Let’s seewhat this does. And I’ll place it in the recession. MATT: Okay. As you place the sword pommel downinto the center of that recess, the eye glows, glows. Your vision goes dark and dark, to black.Flash of bright yellow light. Your eyes wince, though you force them open. Looking ahead of you,you can see a bright yellow eye, the size of your body, staring towards you, emitting this painfulglow, the singular dark slit from top to bottom focusing and twitching in your direction before itfinds you. “Watching.” You hear a deafening crack, and though your eyes are still adjusting to thelight before you and focusing intently on this eye, on the peripheral around it, you can justbarely make out shifting shadows, like tendrils or movement. Something serpentine beginning to shift.It seems to be resisting some sort of binds. (cracking) Making gains on them. “Adapt.” Aloosened tendril curls behind you. You don’t change your focus, looking at the eye. You feel,like an icy blanket, this scaly-like tail, almost as large as your body, begin to wrap around you.The touch is freezing, ice cold, and you feel your back arch. It begins to envelop and squeeze you.”Reward.” The cold sensation overwhelms your senses. Your entire body goes numb and your visionbegins to blur once more. The light of the eye begins to fade as the cold sensation and the graspof this tendril becomes the entirety of your awareness. You hear a distant sound of muffledcracking again. As the blackness claims your vision, you see a distant shape: a broken shore atmidnight before you. Waves curl against this shore, this long, protracted beach, with just afaint bit of starlight in the night, giving you just the basic outline of it. Along that beach,you see three points of light– different from what your previous vision was. They’re not bright,singular points, but three focused gathering of dull lights. You glance over. They’re cities,cities at night, three of them along the shore. Beyond that, a faint bit of yellow grabs yourattention. Beyond these three coastal cities, you see a forest, jungle. You can’t make out thedetails from this strange, elevated vantage point. You feel like you’re flying above the sky. Thelight grows brighter, and it’s the same tint as the eye that summoned you here, as the spheresthat you’ve claimed through your journey. Above that forest, you see, looming, the peak of amountain range. As that light grows brighter and brighter in the heart of this jungle, you hearonce more, “Release.” The light gets brighter until it begins to hurt your eyes. You’re tryingto focus on it, trying to will yourself towards it, and it gets too much and you force your eyesshut. The minute you open them, you’re back in the chamber. Your body is pins and needles as thenumbness begins to fade. You glance down. The yellow sphere that was at the base of your sword,the eye, is just the dull, lifeless metal that was there when you first found the falchion. All therunes suddenly begin to glow with that same yellow, faint light. The spirals all around you.The stone shifts again and cracks, and you see bits of stone and leftover sediment begin torelease within the inside of the chamber. TRAVIS: Time to go. I’ll head towards the tunnel. MATT: Okay. The rest of you up top, all of asudden, you feel this seismic activity around the base of this– LAURA: He did it. TALIESIN: Why don’t we all get outside and be hereright now? LIAM: He’s on his way, we should already startmoving. MATT: (cracking) A second one. You can see now–previously, these very difficult-to-find– runes that were filled in with bits of dust and sand andmuck that had gathered, begin to burst up and reveal the same yellow runes that you had seenpreviously in the temple light up the chamber around, where the hydra battle took place. MARISHA: I look at the runes in the armor that I’mholding. MATT: No apparent connection from what you cantell. However, as the second impact hits, the tower (crumbling). LAURA: We need to get out! SAM: Are we in there? MATT: Yeah. LAURA: Go, go, go! MATT: Okay. You guys all begin to leave. Whatorder? Who’s going first? LIAM: I’m swimming quickly ahead of everyonebecause I’m Expeditious Retreat. MARISHA: I’ll wait. MATT: Okay, you’re next. LAURA: I’ll push Nott in front of me. SAM: I don’t need pushing. MATT: Doesn’t matter, you’re being pushedthrough. SAM: Okay– ah! MATT: Jester and Beau, I need you both to makedexterity saving throws, and you as well, Fjord, as you make it going through the top. TALIESIN: What’s your– plus dex? LAURA: It’s a natural one, so it doesn’t matter. MARISHA: 21. SAM: What are we rolling for? LAURA and TALIESIN: No, you’re not. MARISHA: Just the three of us, yeah. MATT: 15 points of bludgeoning damage as bits ofthe stone knock you around. You take half of that, so you only take seven. What’d you roll, Fjord? TRAVIS: I rolled a seven. MATT: You rolled a seven, so you take the 15points as well. As you manage to move through the space and just as, Fjord, you emerge, and the restof you begin to make your way outside of the temple, you hear this low rumble. You watch assome of the rubble that was tumbling inside suddenly begin to push upward. The current ofwater around you begins to change in an odd way, like there’s a sudden suction you weren’texpecting, and all of you begin to be drawn towards the temple once more. All the seaweedbegins to tear loose and be thrust upward. There is a geyser bursting from the chamber below whereyou once were, and it’s causing this vacuum that’s pulling you up with it. All of you make strengthsaving throws, please, to try and grab something in the vicinity. LAURA: Oh gosh. Can I cast Control Water? MATT: You can, if you’d like to. LAURA: Is everybody around us? TALIESIN: I think we’re pretty tight-knit. MATT: A lot of you may be, yes. LIAM: I’ve shot ahead a little bit, if it’s underten minutes since I’ve cast. LAURA: Yeah, but we were just going through thedoor, so we’re getting sucked back towards the– MATT: Yeah, you guys are being pulled back towardsthe temple. LAURA: I’m going to cast Control Water and try tochange the direction of the water around all of us so that we can push away from the geyser and getfarther away from it. MATT: Okay, I’ll allow that. Don’t even have tomake saving throws. As you all begin to be pulled into it, this vacuum, as the geyser is tearing up,you watch as the temple that was collapsing is now being pulled up and bits of the stone are beingthrust up into the sky above it into the top of the ocean. All of you feel the immense drag andthen it laxes again and you turn around and see Jester sitting there, arms out, forcing the willof the ocean around to hold tight and still around you. LAURA: Swim away! TALIESIN: Are we all going up? Let’s go up! I’mcasting Water Walk on everybody, including you. MATT: All of you begin to rise up at a rocketingspeed towards the surface of the ocean. As the water passes by, you manage to all emerge from thetop. The speed that you’re at, now that you know it’s coming, you manage to do your best to slowyour descent and land carefully; I won’t make you roll for any damage. As you all land, you hearthis (whooshing) sound as you glance over in the direction off the side of where that temple topwould have been. There is a geyser shooting a hundred feet in the air. Bits of rock are beingthrown like volcanic bombs in different directions, and then (quieter whooshing) it losesits force and power, eventually coming to rest, and the ocean is no longer spraying into the air. TALIESIN: Let’s head to the ship. TRAVIS: Where is the ship? MATT: The ship’s maybe a few hundred feet fromwhere you were. TALIESIN: Let’s walk that way. TRAVIS: Jester, I didn’t know you could mess withwater like that. LAURA: Yeah, Fjord, haven’t you seen me ControlWater before? TRAVIS: No? SAM: Yeah, they both made the ship go a littlefaster. TRAVIS: Oh, I’m forgetful. SAM: But not like that underwater. TALIESIN: That was very nice. MATT: You guys jog your way towards the ship. Yousee somebody off the side notice you and start shouting to the rest of the crew, at which pointthe sails are unfurled a bit and, as you guys make your way towards the edge, they throw the ropeladders, and you all begin to climb your way back onto the Balleater’s deck. TALIESIN: We really got to do something about thatat some point. LAURA: Nott! SAM: What? What? What? LAURA: We’re not in the water anymore! SAM: Oh, thank god. The water sucks so bad. MARISHA: So? TRAVIS: I mean, it worked. LAURA: Did you get any special stuff? SAM: Yeah, do something! MARISHA: How do you feel? TRAVIS: Would I know if I got something new? MATT: You sense that lingering pins-and-needleshasn’t quite faded entirely. There’s a buzzing energy about you. TRAVIS: Do I know what it is? MATT: It’s something connected to the ocean.Something connected to water. TRAVIS: I mean, I can try. I’ll reach my hand outtowards the sea and lift up my hand. MATT: Borrowing from the imagery that you’ve seenwith Avantika’s attempts at shaping and manipulating the waters that surround her– TRAVIS: Cleaning herself on her balcony? MATT: Correct. As you will the water to follow–and you guys watch this as well– it extends in a tendril and wraps up to the edge of the ship andseems to be awaiting a command. LAURA: Whoa, you can do it! TRAVIS: Yeah, I think we’re good. MATT: Orly, at this point, has rushed up and islike, “Captain, where we going?” TRAVIS: Make for the coast, Orly. We’ve had enoughtime at sea. SAM: Fuck yes! MATT: “All right,” and begins shouting outcommands, and you hear a voice shouting out from the crow’s nest, Marius LePual, “Captain! Shipsighted!” and you see him pointing off to the side. You guys glance towards the southernarchipelago island, and at the edge of one of the cliff sides where there is a waterfall and a bitof the forest gathered there, the front of a boat is emerging from what is a previously-unseenseaside cave. LAURA: Oh no. MATT: And that’s where we’re going to take ourbreak. (groaning) LIAM: Can I ask a question? MATT: Yes, you may. LIAM: Watching through Frumpkin’s eyes as he dideverything down below, other than hearing Fjord talk without his twang, did I see the tendril thatappeared, or was that all in his mind? MATT: All you saw was him place the sword in thespot, there was a flash of light from where it was, and he was immediately– There was no timepassage. LIAM: So just heard him speak and heard him wedgea sword in the ground. MATT: Correct. We’ll be right back here to seewhat happens here for the next bit. SAM: Wow. That was amazing, Matt. TRAVIS: Really cool shit. MATT: Oh man, we’re just getting started! We haveour fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway, so before we leave, we have to give away tonight this awesomepurpleheart tabletop tray. You’ve seen it here before, it’s one of the awesomest colors here.It’s beautiful, leather inside– thank you, Liam. I think we all wanted it. That’ll be granted toone of you lucky winners. To enter, head on over to the Critical Role Twitch chat here attwitch.tv/criticalrole and enter tonight’s keyword: beard, B-E-A-R-D, beard. Enter it once;more than once and you’ll be disqualified, and once again, it’s only for critters in the US andCanada, excluding Quebec, because weird laws. We’ll have the winner when we return. See you in afew minutes. MATT: Welcome back. Before we jump in, our winnerof the fantastic Wyrmwood giveaway tonight is Drinscorpio. Drinscorpio, congratulations. We’llget your info and get that sent to you ASAP, but well done. LIAM: That was my first D&D character. SAM: I forgot to hand these out at the break. Ifanyone wants a durian candy? MATT: Oh no. LAURA: No! MARISHA: Like durian fruit? SAM: Durian fruit candies, guys! MATT: Does it smell like durian? SAM: Yeah, it smells and is made out of durian. TRAVIS: What the hell is durian? TALIESIN: Don’t open it. LAURA: Try it. Do it, Travis. MATT: You ever see those super spiked Asianfruit? TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: They smell like rotten flesh when youopen them. LIAM: No, don’t open that. LAURA: You going to do it? SAM: No, it’s got a wrapping on it. You have totake the wrapping off. TRAVIS: (mouth full) What is that? SAM: It’s a wrap– LAURA: Well, remember what– TRAVIS: (garbled noise) (laughter) LIAM: You were only warned six times before youput it in your mouth. MARISHA: Do you like durian? SAM: It’s good. TRAVIS: Ugh. TALIESIN: It’s an acquired taste. SAM: Mmm. MATT: All righty. As you all get onto the ship andOrly begins to make the course, you hear Marius LePual shouting from the crow’s nest that there isa ship emerging. You turn it and look towards the southern island of the archipelago and see,emerging from a seaside cave that you had not noticed upon entry, the front of a ship, the bowpiercing the edge and making its way towards you. LAURA: What’s it look like? TRAVIS: On a course to intercept? Starboard,port? MATT: You don’t know. You can wait and find out.What are you doing? LIAM: Looks like someone who waited for us to dothe hard work. TRAVIS: No, we’re dropping all the sails. We’regetting the fuck out of here, and I’m going to use Control Water to push the back of our boat out thefucking archipelago. MATT: Okay. All right, the sails begin to drop–begin to pick up the wind and make your way which direction? East, north? TRAVIS: North. Northeast, the way– I imaginethat’s the closest one. If there’s a closer opening, yeah. MATT: Northeast would be the way. TRAVIS: Yeah. MATT: All right. Making that route– you’re givingthe direction– the sails pick up and the ship begins moving. As the ship turns around the cornerand you’re glancing as it makes its way in your direction, no colors flying. Similar size, if alittle bit smaller than your ship. MARISHA: As a first mate… MATT: Correct. MARISHA: Do I get a dope first mate kit, like aspyglass? MATT: There is a spyglass on board, as part of theequipment. MARISHA: Can I use the spyglass? MATT: You may. Make a perception check withadvantage. SAM: Do you open it like that, or do you do one ofthese (flick) and then use it? MARISHA: Oh, I absolutely (whoosh) and then… LIAM: Into the ocean. MARISHA: Yes. Argh! Just straight perception? MATT: Mm-hmm. MARISHA: Okay, okay, okay. Wait, what? LIAM: He said at advantage. MATT: Yeah, with the spyglass. LIAM: Oh my god, it’s cocked! You don’t get tokeep it, but it was like, “20, fuck you,” at an angle. MARISHA: This literally happens to me so much!That’s better, 21. MATT: Okay. As you glance off to the side, you cansee the ship. There appears to be a crew waiting on deck, scattered amongst the edges of it,looking over. Maybe six people you can see. They’re all dressed in drab, dark grays and blacksand greens. Sails fully open at this point, and you do notice that there are gunports on it, fourgunports on the side that you can see that are being opened currently. LAURA: Oh no! MARISHA: And you said they weren’t flying colors. MATT: Correct, no flags. MARISHA: Okay. I turn around to Fjord, relay thatmessage, say: They’ve got gunports! They’re about to fire! SAM: Captain, Captain! Should I go under and readythe cannons? Captain? TRAVIS: Make ready the cannons. SAM: Aye-aye, Captain! (screaming) TALIESIN: Do you want me to give them fairwarning? TRAVIS: Yeah. What’s the distance from the ship?If we had to guess it? MATT: At this point, from what you can gather asyou’re turning around and heading in that direction– because you were towards that southernisland for the place in between the three of them where you found– it’s maybe about, at this point,2,000 or so feet away from you. TRAVIS: Okay. TALIESIN: I would say close enough. MATT: You are taking down some of the crew tobegin manning the guns? SAM: Yes! TRAVIS: I have no idea what’s an appropriaterange. MATT: All right. You have the special officeraction on the lower left area. SAM: Special officer action? MATT: There’s also one here for the captain andthe first mate. MARISHA: I’m so happy! MATT: With the statistics for your ship. As we arecurrently– TRAVIS: We couldn’t just get to land, goddamn it.(clears throat) Just kidding. MARISHA: It’s a ship fight! I’m gettingemotional. TRAVIS: Taliesin, do you have any idea what therange on a cannon is? TALIESIN: Far. TRAVIS: 120 or 480. MATT: The cannons you have here are 120, shortrange, 480-foot, long range. TRAVIS: Okay. We have seven cannons. LIAM: And they are more than four times furtheraway than that. TALIESIN: And I still have a Control Water, soonce they’re within 300 feet, I can make their life very unpleasant. MARISHA: I thought– was she the boatswain? SAM: You’re the boatswain. LAURA: I’m the boatswain? MARISHA: I don’t know. Who did the ropes and thesails? LAURA: Oh yeah. MARISHA: Wait, I have this written down. LIAM: I’m the boatswain? TALIESIN: I’m the boatswain! LAURA: Now a boatswain? TALIESIN: We’re all the boatswain. MARISHA: No, you’re a carpenter. The boatswain wasCaduceus. TALIESIN: Yeah, what do you need? SAM: No, you have access to these actions aswell. MARISHA: At least, it was. MATT: The top two. The only person that gets thebottom action is you because you’re the master gunner. LAURA: Oh. MARISHA: Oh, because you’re the master gunner. Isee. TALIESIN: So I can deal with the top two? MATT: Are you guys fleeing, or are you engaging? LIAM: What are we doing, Captain? TRAVIS: I am reading this card! MARISHA: Hang on, we’re digesting! SAM and TRAVIS: (muttered reading) SAM: Cannon attacks deal an additional 1d10bludgeoning damage. If the attack roll is one or two, the cannon misfires and cannot be firedagain. It’s an extra action, other than just regular loading? MATT: Your crew takes care of the loading for you,but you as the master gunner, every round, can give that benefit to one of the cannons that arebeing fired. SAM: Got it. MARISHA: So we can do two of these, right? That’swhat you just said? And the master gunner– LAURA: It’s like a minigame! MARISHA: It’s legit a minigame! It’s Pillars ofEternity, you guys! MATT: It’s hilarious how that game came out thisyear and this has been our adventure. SAM: Good synergy. MATT: It’s helped me learn a lot. TRAVIS: Each of us get two what? MARISHA: So, the captain, the first mate, and theboatswain each have access to two special action options described below. SAM: Options. MARISHA: Options. Full Speed Ahead, and Fire atWill. And then the master gunner has access to the Pack the Good Powder special action. TRAVIS: Right, which is a singular cannon shotwith additional loads of powder. SAM: How many cannons do we have? TRAVIS: Seven. MATT: You have seven. There were eight, but one ofthem got damaged. SAM: How many on the side that’s facing ourinterlopers? MATT: It should tell you, you have– TRAVIS: Four on the port, three on the starboard,but we don’t know which side they’re on. SAM: Huh? MATT: Right now, because you’re perpendicular tothem, you’re going to have to turn to make that motion, which is how they’re able to start gainingon you. You do have some lead time. TRAVIS: Are we both facing the same directionright now? MATT: Right now, no. You’re facing where the shipwas when you got on in a southeast way, so you’re going to have to turn to make your way that way,but you can. You still have a little bit of gain on them. TRAVIS: So are they on the starboard right now? MATT: Right now, they are on the starboard side,yes. Starboard bow. TRAVIS: Yeah. (sighs) MARISHA: Can we do each of these actions on ourturns, or one of these actions a round? MATT: Each of you can do one of these on your turnfor the round– once we engage in any sort of ship-to-ship combat, but right now, you guys aretoo far away. You choose now; you can either choose to engage or you can choose to try andoutrun them. TRAVIS: Run or fight, say it now. What do you wantto do? MARISHA: You said run. I think run’s a good idea. TRAVIS: Yeah, I did, but you’ve already risked alot for me. MARISHA: I think they wouldn’t be here if wedidn’t have something that they want. SAM: Captain, the cannons are armed and ready!Give me the order! TRAVIS: We’ll see how fast they are. We’ll turn toflee into the water. MATT: All right, so are you giving the Full SpeedAhead action, essentially? TRAVIS: Yes. MATT: Okay. The sails unfurl, the ship begins toturn, making its way towards port side, arcing northeast to try and pick up the wind and begin togain slow speed. The other ship has turned and is making its way in your path and is gaining speedrapidly. It was prepared for your arrival and it took you guys a minute to get everyone engaged togo ahead and start shoving off. It’s closed the distance to about a thousand feet over the time ittakes you to start, get everything ready to go, and head in that direction. Like I said, it issmaller, probably faster, and its crew are looking to try and catch up and engage. TRAVIS: Probably faster? MATT: We’ll find out. Let’s go ahead and rollinitiative, guys. SAM: For all of us, or just for our boat? MATT: For all of you, and the boat has its owninitiative. LAURA: Woah. LIAM: For everybody with a thing to do? Because Idon’t think I have a thing to do, so I could just hang out. MATT: Yeah, you could just hang out if you want. LIAM: I’m going to start Identifying spells. I’mrifling through Jester’s. LAURA: You have magic; you could be flinging magicat them. SAM: You could throw fireballs and shit! LIAM: If they get in range. LAURA: Okay. SAM: Never mind. MATT: That’s true. MARISHA: Do you want to roll initiative, then? MATT: Oh, the ship did well with a 15. LIAM: In six-second rounds– I don’t think we’rein traditional… MATT: You guys, however, not so great. That’s asix for you guys. TALIESIN: I still have some good spells. MATT: All right. 25 to 20, guys? SAM: 20. TALIESIN: Oh, that’s nice. MATT: 20 to 15? TALIESIN: 17. LIAM: 15. MATT: All righty. 15 to ten? MARISHA: 14. TRAVIS: 14. LAURA: 12. I tried to eat one. LIAM: What are you eating? LAURA: The jackfruit candy. SAM: It’s not jackfruit. LAURA: What is it? MARISHA and SAM: Durian. LAURA: Durian. It’s a durian candy. MATT: All righty. TALIESIN: We usually get durian pastries afterBlizzCon. MATT: And then who’s left, it’s Yasha? But yeah,she– TRAVIS: Oh, she got a three. No, five. MATT: All right. Anyway. SAM: Did we roll for the ship? MATT: I did. TRAVIS: 15. MATT: No, their ship is 15; you guys got a six. TRAVIS: What? The ship had a 15. MATT: Their ship had a 15. All right, anyway.The ships are moving. They’re too far away for you to fire. In giving the orders to move, you guysare managing to stay pretty neck and neck as far as travel for the moment. LIAM: To maintain distance? MATT: Maintaining a fair distance. As you headnortheast, just passing beyond the island to the east side of you, pushing outside of thearchipelago, the wind begins to die a little bit and your speed slows. So does theirs, it seems.But it doesn’t. Their sails maintain up. SAM: Their sails do? MATT: Their sails do. LAURA: They got magic. LIAM: How long is your Water? LAURA: It’s gone. My Control Water was just to getus out. TRAVIS: Mine’s not. It’s up for ten minutes andit’s at the back of the boat. MATT: It’s been more than ten minutes since youguys shoved off though. TRAVIS: Oh, well, there you go. LIAM: So if we maintained speed with that andthey’re a fast boat. LAURA: So, we need to… SAM: Engage? TRAVIS: Yep. TALIESIN: Can we put them between us and land sothat maybe if we can ground them? TRAVIS: I have no idea. I don’t have any visual ofwhere we are in relation to anything. TALIESIN: How clear is the–? MATT: I’ll show you. TALIESIN: You’ll show us? (gasp) MATT: We’ll say for the purposes of distance– I’mputting this down because it’s more interesting to look at than just a table. But we’ll say– TALIESIN: I like that it’s got little rivets. LAURA: I like it. SAM: You want more? TALIESIN: You can have mine. I only do this tomyself once a year. MATT: We’ll say this is them. We’ll say this isyou guys about a thousand to 900 feet away. Let me see, what can I use here for landmasses? Sure,that’ll work. We’ll say as you’re coming around here, this is the island. You guys are heading–this is north, this is east, and you’re coming through this space here. We’ll use this here asthe other island as you’re moving past, we’ll say. TALIESIN: Captain, let’s hug the coast to ourright a little hard. Maybe I can, once they get close enough, shove them. TRAVIS: The coast off to starboard? TALIESIN: Yeah. I can shove them into the rocks,maybe. MARISHA: You want to do a hard 45-degree turn? Ifwe do that, if we turn starboard side, we can try and hit them with our starboard cannons. TALIESIN: Get around that little piece of… TRAVIS: No, we’re still out of range. LAURA: We’ve only got three cannons on thestarboard side, though, if we turn to port side– TRAVIS: We’re still out of range by 300, 400yards. TALIESIN: I can’t do anything until they’re 300feet away anyway. TRAVIS: Sure, yeah, let’s aim to hug the coast onthe starboard side. MATT: Okay. As you guys maneuver and tend to hangin close, making your way in towards the island, they do gain a little bit of distance. I need youto make a survival check as you are currently leading the ship to try and avoid any sort ofheavy rocks and things along the side of the island. TRAVIS: That is a three. TALIESIN: Because I would be doing this as well,can I give advantage to that, or can I roll as well on that? No, he has to roll on that. MATT: He’s the captain, unfortunately, yeah. TRAVIS: Negative two to survival checks, y’all. MATT: Ooh. That puts you at a– that’s a threetotal? TRAVIS: No. Five, yes, so three. MATT: Yeah, so three. Okay. Heading towards theside there, pushing a little close in to the island. Immediately you hear (collision). Notenough to damage the hull to a serious point, but it does suffer two points of slashing damage,we’ll say, across the hull. TRAVIS: Is our hull at full strength? MATT: It is. TRAVIS: Okay. I got that. MATT: Moving forward, it manages to dislodge fromthe rock, suffering another six points of slashing damage. You manage to pull off the rock. Noticingthis jutting, the other ship rolls better and manages to avoid– TALIESIN: Are they close enough now? MATT: No. They are still gaining, though. They’reabout 600 feet away. TRAVIS: How close do you need them? TALIESIN: 300. MATT: Are you guys continuing straight? TRAVIS: Uh-huh. We’re hugging the coast. We’regoing to continue in that same line. We need 480, anyway. MATT: All this shifts over this way. As you guyscontinue to hug the side, they gain to about 400 feet… 300 feet… TALIESIN: Now. MATT: What do you do? TALIESIN: I am going to cast Control Water, andI’m going to shove all the water. I’m going to push them right into the island. TRAVIS: With a tidal wave? TALIESIN: I can’t quite tidal wave. I can doredirect flow, or I can do whirlpool, I think, are my two– LIAM: Well, it creates a wave for sure. TRAVIS: Yeah, it’s a wave. TALIESIN: It’s a wave? LIAM: That’s what I was worried with Avantikaabout. MARISHA: If I remember, you could do a fewdifferent things. You could whirlpool– LAURA: A 20-foot tall wave that travels from oneside– LIAM: It’s a 25 percent chance of capsizing. TALIESIN: I’m throwing them on the island. SAM: While he’s doing that, Captain, should weturn to engage or no? TRAVIS: No. MATT: So Control Water? You’re too far away fromthe beach to push them onto the beach itself. You have 300 feet from them, but they’re still about200 or 300 feet out from any sort of sandbank that would impact them. There are rocks in thevicinity, so I’ll consider that a little bit of a benefit to the chance of capsizing. TALIESIN: Thank you. MATT: You’re attempting to capsize the ship, 25percent chance. I’ll make that a 30 percent chance. Roll a percentage die for me, if you don’tmind. As you guys watch as Caduceus concentrates– LAURA: We roll a 30 or lower, it’s good? MATT: The first one… TALIESIN: Percentile? MATT: Yes, so roll– what? Yeah. TALIESIN: I got them so the– yep. LIAM: Three, zero. Roll the dice. TALIESIN: 15. MATT: You watch as the ocean (rumbling), swells upand slams into the ship. The ship (collision and rumbling) capsizes and scrapes onto the edge of abank of heavy rocks. TALIESIN: It’s just water. I’m going to sit down.That was really tiring. TRAVIS: I’m glad we went through all that so Icould get that spell once a day. LAURA: Holy moly! That was some serious stuff,man! SAM: Captain! Captain! They’re vulnerable. Turn sowe can finish them off! TRAVIS: Make it so. SAM: (gleeful quiet cheering) Yes. Yes! TRAVIS: Turn to port. Prepare to fire. Smoke thesemotherfuckers! SAM: Pack the good powder! (laughter) TALIESIN: We can also see what they have on board. TRAVIS: Yeah, after we splinter the ship. MATT: I’m going to get rid of that initiativeorder that’s not going to do anything now. TALIESIN: I’m so sorry! MATT: Set aside all these great– SAM: They’ve got magic. They could unflip theirship. We don’t know. TRAVIS: They obviously had some sort of wind intheir sails. MATT: Yeah. You gather, as you begin to turn theship around and watch their ship, they do not have anything to right it from being capsized against abunch of jagged rocks. TRAVIS: I mean, they’ve got some arcane people.They’ll be fine, if the can survive this barrage! MARISHA: Fire! SAM: You have the order, men. Fire! MATT: Yeah. For the purposes of brevity– TALIESIN: Oh, I am so sorry. MATT: No, don’t apologize! That’s what this shit’sfor. That was a 30 percent chance for an immediate win, and you did it. TRAVIS: Yeah, there was a 70 percent chance it wasgoing to fucking fail, and we were going to turn to port and get into it. MATT: As you turn around and prepare the cannons,you see the top half of the sideways ship begin to sift over to where the actual base of the hull andthe cargo hold is now visible at the top. Bits of the masts have snapped and are now floating withthe sails in the ocean. You can see a few people that are starting to scramble out from underneathas you let loose a volley of cannon fire on it. You can roll those attacks if you’d like to. SAM: Sure. Three attacks? Which way did we turn?Doesn’t matter. MATT: Three attacks, but the first one hasadditional damage. SAM: Okay. Seven, seven, 14. There’s plus six tohit, so 13, 13, 20. MATT: Is it all to the hull? That’s most of whatyou can see right now. Was it 13, 13, 20 you said? SAM: 13, 13, 20. MATT: The first two (whooshing, splashing). Thethird one slams into the hull. Roll damage. TRAVIS: We’re realizing the amount of hours thatmust have gone into the detail of this. MATT: Thankfully, most of this was available as anUnearthed Arcana in D&D and I did my own tweaks. About an hour wasted. TRAVIS: Because I’m reading into targeting thehelm or the sails or the cannons… SAM: 30 points of damage. MATT: 30 points of damage. You splinter into thehull, which has already taken a shit-ton of damage. Yeah, the ship’s fucked. Sorry, MikeMearls. We tried to play with it a little more. (laughter) SAM: I want to do this fight! Maybe the cannonblast flipped it back over again, and they’ve got a second wind! MATT: Nah. (laughter) SAM: I want to kill things with my cannons! TALIESIN: You’re not shooting that great anyway. Ithink probably this was for the best. MATT: You can see shards of wood all scattered inthe area around it, and the boat is sinking. Between the impact of being capsized by the wave,the blast of the cannon fire, and the fact that you’re so close to the edge of the island put itin a position where it can’t right itself. LIAM: What do we see in the way of survivorsswimming about? MATT: Make a perception check. SAM: Should we go rescue them? Get their shit? LAURA: Are you guys okay? LIAM: They’re very far away. Eight. LAURA: (shouting) Are you guys okay? MATT: There are seven swimming survivors. SAM: The cannons are loaded again! LIAM: Do we want to grab one or two of thesepeople so we know what was going on in the first place? SAM: Or all of them? MARISHA: They might just be pirates. TALIESIN: Not anymore, they’re not. SAM: What if it’s the same thieves who robbed ustwice? (laughter) TRAVIS: They tried their hand at a new occupation! LIAM: We got a boat now, baby! This is going down! TRAVIS: Oh, I’m so glad… (nervously) No! Itcan’t be! MARISHA: We’re thousands of miles away fromfucking Wildemount. TRAVIS: We even did another job! LAURA: I throw a rope out to one of thesurvivors. MATT: Well, let me put my papers away. SAM and LAURA: Aw, Matt! MATT: Don’t apologize! That was awesome! That’show you do it! TRAVIS: Nice call, Taliesin. Nice call. SAM: Taliesin, way to break the game! TALIESIN: Yep, I’m here to fuck your shit up. Iwill make sure you will never get to shoot a cannon. LIAM: That boat is as dead as a nothic. (laughter) TRAVIS: Do you want to go close and toss out arope for a couple? LAURA: Do you guys have magic? Are you going toattack us? MATT: As you’re shouting over the edge, the onesthat you can see, they’re mostly raggedy-looking human ne’er-do-wells. They look like they’veprobably been at sea for a while, skin tanned and burned in places. There is one tabaxi among themthat is the only one that’s actually responding to anything you’re saying. She goes, “Bring usaboard. Show mercy.” She’s swimming, and trying– the water is thrashing her around. LAURA: Do any of you want a tattoo? TALIESIN: Oh no. MATT: Do you bring up all seven survivors? LAURA: Yeah. I mean, it’s up to our captain. TRAVIS: How many manacles do we have? MATT: I don’t know, how many do you have? TRAVIS: I don’t fucking know. How many manacles dowe have? Master gunner? LIAM: 23. SAM: Manacles? I’m not on manacle duty. Fire! (laughter) MATT: Are you firing the cannons? SAM: No. LAURA: We’ll keep them tied up. MARISHA: Captain, I would like to point out, themore people we have to bring on board, the more people we have to feed, or if we don’t have enoughfood– TALIESIN and LAURA: We have enough food. MARISHA: We have enough food? All right. TALIESIN: That I can help with. We should,maybe– LAURA: Caleb, will you make sure that none of themare magic users as they come up on board, okay? LIAM: I can kind of do that. You have to get themin a circle and keep them at bay for a moment. TALIESIN: Who can tie? TRAVIS: We’ll be okay. I forget, do we have anyfirearms, or did the Plank King dock crews clear all that out? MATT: Everything that was on the ship aside fromthe cannons– SAM: We got one. MATT: Yeah, you got one. LAURA: It’s okay. We’ll aim our fingers at theminstead. Get up here! TRAVIS: It’s not like they’ve got– I’m surethey’re not swimming– well, we’ll see. Let’s get them up. MATT: One by one, you pull the water-loggedwayfarers that were on the opposite ship. They all get back onto the dock and look particularlyfrustrated, angry. They seem to be sizing each of you up with their eyes as they all take a place, abegrudgingly subservient position, until eventually the tabaxi gets up, climbs and shakesthis wide-brimmed black velvet hat that looks stained and fucked up from the sea water. Therewas a large feather plume on it that looks like it’s snapped in the middle and hanging. She’slike, “Ugh. Well done. You cheated the hell out of “that, but what do you want of us?” LAURA: Why did you attack us? MATT: “Well, because you wandered into the middleof the archipelago and seemed to be easy pickings. “What else?” LAURA: Oh, that wasn’t very smart. (intensely)Don’t you know how bad-ass the Balleater is? MATT: The tabaxi, which wears a very calico furcoloring, head turns to the side and goes, “The what?” LAURA: The Balleater. It’s the name of our ship.The Balleater. We eat balls. MATT: One of the other pirates goes up and puts ahand on the shoulder and goes, “It’s okay, “Captain. We got taken out by the Balleater.” (laughter) TRAVIS: Fortunately, you found us on a day ofmercy. You have a second chance at life. Is there anywhere you would like to go? MATT: The tabaxi’s eyes narrow. “Are you thecaptain of this vessel?” TRAVIS: I am. MATT: “And your name is…?” TRAVIS: Captain Tusktooth. MARISHA: Sticking with it. TRAVIS: ‘Til the end. MATT: “I am Captain Serack Feng.” LAURA: Oh! Hey, man, it’s like both of you areteeth people. TRAVIS: That’s a better name. Better name. MATT: F-e-n-g. LAURA: Oh. Well all right. MATT: “Well, you have managed to sink the–” LIAM: The Cock Gobbler. MATT: “–the Salty Criss.” SAM: Salty Criss? LAURA: Did you have any treasure on there oranything? MATT: The captain looks back over and it is gone.It’s beneath the waves. “Well, not anymore, but we “have our lives and a third of our crew.” SAM: I’m sorry, what was that last part? MATT: “A third of our crew.” MARISHA: Sorry. SAM: You lost 14 crew? MATT: “They’re not here, are they?” LAURA: Well, they tried to attack us! Bad thingshappen when you get– LIAM: Yes, they attacked a ship after a giganticgeyser of water spewed forth from the ocean. I’d say they stuck their dick in it, yeah. MATT: “It caught our attention.” TRAVIS: We planned to make our way for theMenagerie Coast. Do you have any objections with that? MATT: They all wince at the idea. “Could you maybeleave us on the island?” SAM: Are you wanted in a city there? MARISHA: They’re pirates. MATT: “What do you think, small one?” SAM: Sidebar. (clicks tongue) TRAVIS: Excuse us a moment. Yes, master gunner? SAM: Captain, we’re not welcome in one of thesetowns. Maybe we could make some sort of a trade, give them some pirates that they’ve been lookingfor, in exchange for immunity, or at least clemency, leniency? MARISHA: I have a feeling Darktow would side withthese people– SAM: Not Darktow! TRAVIS: You mean Nicodranas? Yeah, but we’rebetting on the fact that they do. I think, if we go into Nicodranas, we need to be as stealthy aspossible. There’s a chance they might not take it. We should probably drop them off at the island,give them some food. TALIESIN: We can do that. It would take a day,though. I can’t really do anything until the morning. LAURA: We could give them really nice tattoos. TRAVIS: We’ll go into Nicodranas stealthily. LIAM: We could try to turn them in, and they couldtake them and us at the same time. TRAVIS: That’s my fear. I like the way you’rethinking. TALIESIN: It could also give you a second to goand take a look at the wreck of that ship, maybe. I mean, you can swim. TRAVIS: I can. TALIESIN: You not feeling it? TRAVIS: I don’t know if I want to risk it. Orly,make for the shore of the nearest archipelago coast. MATT: “Aye aye, captain.” The ship begins to makeits way towards the edge. Since you’re not in the middle of a rush here, you take some time to findwhat looks like the way to get close to the beach. Are you lending them a rowboat or tossing theminto the ocean? TRAVIS: Yeah, just going in. No rowboat. MATT: (splashing) LAURA: Aw, but one of them I wanted to give atattoo to, come on! TRAVIS: How about one stays on deck, and he’sgoing to carry the canvas sack with some food rations. TALIESIN: Yeah, we’ve got some stuff. TRAVIS: In order to eat, you’ve got to get themark. LAURA: It’s totally optional. TRAVIS: It’s not optional. LAURA: If they want to eat! MATT: The tabaxi turns towards the four men whohaven’t jumped overboard yet. “Hey, Levar. You’re “up,” and then jumps off. He’s like, “Oh–” LAURA: Don’t worry, Levar. We’re all friends here.Do you like tattoos? MATT: There’s a fair canvas of varying levels offaded tattoos that mark shoulders and forearms. They’re all really well-made. LAURA: This is really nice! MATT: “Thank you.” LAURA: I’ve been working really hard on my skills.Where would you like yours? MATT: You can see the soaked, ratty, gray shirt.He pulls it up, and the entire body is tattooed, from wrist– TRAVIS: How about his face? LAURA: No, no. TRAVIS: What, you don’t want a unicorn pooping onhis face? LAURA: No, Captain. I have specific tattoos thatI’ve been working on. TRAVIS: Oh, my fault, Jester. LAURA: I want everyone who comes in contact withthe Balleater and Captain Tusktooth to walk away with his symbol. SAM: What’s his symbol? LAURA: It’s a smiley face with a couple tusks andsome googly eyes above it. (laughter) TRAVIS: Oh, Jesus. Well, he’s covered in mostplaces, so pick your spot. LAURA: Where would you like it? Think about this!Think about how cool this will be! Think about in 20 years, when Captain Tusktooth is the mostdangerous guy you’ve ever heard of, and there’s stories about him. You will be able to say: Icrossed paths with the crew of Captain Tusktooth and I lived. MATT: “Put it right there.” LAURA: Oh, so you can show people and be like:Hey, check me out. MATT: “Sure, fine, do it. Just get it over with.” LAURA: You know that hands are really hard becausea lot of time, the ink, it spreads. Okay, I’m going to do it. MATT: Roll a dexterity check. SAM and TALIESIN: Oh, boy. LAURA: Oh! Oh, a dexterity check. 18! MATT: You produce a fairly successful, cleantattoo of your intended design. MARISHA: You’ve gotten good at those. LAURA: Yeah, yeah, yeah. TRAVIS: Give them the food. Beau, will you showhim the door? MARISHA: Right this way, good Levar. MATT: (grunts) MARISHA: Work it, work it, work the gangplank. (laughter) MATT: He jumps off the side of it. (splashing) Atthis point now, it’s starting to get closer to dusk. They all swim to the shore. They’ve begunassembling whatever scraps they can from the nearby tree line to start building a small campfor the night. What do you guys want to do? TRAVIS: I actually don’t need to dive down there.I can’t breathe water again for another– until we have a long rest. LIAM: May I have my books back, please, before youdraw googly eyes in the pages? Did you already draw googly eyes in the pages? LAURA: (jokingly) I don’t know, maybe. Here’sanother one for you. There may be some surprises, maybe not! TRAVIS: Orly, can we set a course for Nicodranasby way of Brokenbank? MATT: “Aye aye, Captain. If I might ask, whatbusiness are we looking for in Brokenbank?” TRAVIS: Oh, just going by the normal trade routes,just in case we, I don’t know, run across any trouble. MATT: “No stopping?” LAURA: Why? TRAVIS: How are we on supplies? Food, water?Anyone sick, hurt? MARISHA: Would I know that, as first mate? MATT: If anyone’s sick? MARISHA: No, for supplies. MATT: There seem to be decent supplies. Youstocked up at Bisaft Isle, and you have magical means of creating food if you need it. TALIESIN: Food and water never stops if you needit, too. LAURA: Brokenbank? MATT: Are you asking Orly? You know Brokenbank.It’s the first– TRAVIS: It’s the next stop on an establishedshipping lane. MATT: For many of the shipping lanes, it’s thefirst port of entry to give your paperwork, to show what you’re bringing in, to make sure it’sall approved and going through. It’s part of the process of things making their way into port. TRAVIS: If we’re set, I think maybe a speed routewould be great. Nicodranas. MATT: Fair enough. He goes ahead and starts makinghis way that direction. From the archipelago to Nicodranas without stops looks to be between fiveand six days’ travel. TRAVIS: Nice. I’ll throw in some Control Watersonce every day. MATT: That’ll bring you down to about four and ahalf, we’ll say. Yeah, between all of you guys being able to juggle that around. Okay. TRAVIS: Caleb? LAURA: Can I send a message to my momma? MATT: You may. LAURA: Hey, Momma! We are heading back toNicodranas. Is it safe, do you think, for us to get there? Because I know that stuff is happening,and I haven’t heard from you in a while, probably because I haven’t sent a message to– TRAVIS: That’s it. MATT: “My Jester, you’re coming back? Well, Idon’t know specifically, but there does not appear “to be a manhunt. Just be careful.” LAURA: My momma says everything’s okay! We justgot to be careful. TRAVIS: I think that’s the plan. Caleb, you wantto take time to Identify your goodies? LIAM: I certainly do. MARISHA: I hand Caleb the leather armor as well. LIAM: Thank you, Beauregard. MARISHA: Mm-hmm. LIAM: I will go back to Nott and my quarters, andpull out the book, and take less than an hour to– there’s five things now. MATT: Okay. Yeah, because you rolled really highon that investigation check. What are the five things? LIAM: It was the stone shaped like a feather. Itwas the orb. It was a potion. It was the agate stone and the studded leather armor. TALIESIN: Whoa, that’s a lot. SAM: There’s also some coin that needs to be– MATT: Correct. No coin from the ship. However, youdid manage to muster, in the time that you gathered beneath there, 48 copper pieces– LAURA: Between us or each? MATT: Overall. You can divide as you see fit. Ifyou choose not to divide, I can give you individual amounts. LAURA: No, no, no. MATT: 31 silver pieces. MARISHA: 31 silver. MATT: 323 gold pieces. MARISHA: 323? MATT: 14 platinum pieces. LAURA: Woo. TRAVIS: Not too shabby. SAM: Are we dividing it up among the group? LAURA: I think everybody gets 2 platinum. SAM: I’ll do the math. MARISHA: I would like to point out that maybe weshould set a little bit aside to– TALIESIN: Pay the crew. MARISHA: — pay the crew. TRAVIS: They die before we reach the shore. What?No. Kidding. (laughter) TALIESIN: Wow! MARISHA: Everyone took a second to be like– MATT: In the background, from over the side– TRAVIS: He jumps over. MATT: No, you see this little turtle head go,”Heh.” TALIESIN: Jesus. MATT: If there’s any other business you want totake care of during this four-and-a-half-day journey? TRAVIS: I would. I would like to ask Beau andanyone else that lives in the empire if they could tell me a little bit more about where they liveand who is the most concerned about the news that we received about the war moving south. MARISHA: Well, I don’t know. I can’t speak forCaleb, the other empire kid– LIAM: Busy. MARISHA: Huh? LIAM: Busy. MARISHA: He’s busy. TRAVIS: He’s looking stuff up. You’re from…? MARISHA: I’m from Kamordah. TRAVIS: Right. We came through the Wuyun Gates? MATT: Wuyun Gorge. TRAVIS: Right here. MARISHA: According to the information, they cameall the way here to Felderwin, which is where Nott is from. SAM: That’s where I’m from. MARISHA: My concern was that they mentioned thatthey used mountain passages. If you took this mountain passage all the way through Felderwin,you would go along this route. My concern was that you could easily go east in that path and hitKamordah. I don’t know. TRAVIS: Maybe we’ll just see. It’s at thediscretion of everyone. Once we’re off the boat, I’m not the captain anymore. I don’t know wherethe urgency lies. MARISHA: I have no desire to go rushing back to myhometown. I think I’d prefer to go back to Zadash and check in, personally. TRAVIS: Even with an army bearing down on it? Youhave family there. MARISHA: What are we going to do to stop aninvading army? TRAVIS: Warn your folks? Get them out of harm’sway? No? MARISHA: I don’t know. I honestly don’t even knowif they’d believe me if I told them to run, so what’s the point? Maybe we could better organizeour efforts together in a larger city like Zadash, or go check in on Nott’s family first. TRAVIS: Beau, I want to honor what you’ve said,but you only get one family. Are you sure that whatever’s transpired between you is too much todrop a note? MARISHA: Actually, I got a note from my parentswhen I was at the Cobalt Reserve, at the Cobalt Soul. It seemed very clear that they didn’t reallywant me to come back. My mother actually ended up birthing a son while I was at the monastery, sothey got what they wanted. Got rid of me and thought that it would be best if we all partedways. I took that letter as a goodbye and decided to continue on my way. TRAVIS: You have a brother now. MARISHA: I have a baby brother that I’ve nevermet. TRAVIS: No other siblings. MARISHA: Nope. TRAVIS: Aren’t you at all concerned that he mightbe an innocent in all this? He has your blood running through his veins. MARISHA: I don’t know. I guess I never thoughtabout it like that. I never met the kid. It’s hard to feel concern about something you have no realpersonal connection with, whether they’re your blood or not. I don’t know. TRAVIS: Maybe think about it. Him, at least. Couldgive the kid a chance. MARISHA: Yeah. TRAVIS: You’ll know what to do. MARISHA: I guess he could be okay. I don’t know.Anyway, what about you, Nott? Are you here? SAM: I don’t know. Am I? MARISHA: Yeah, I think so. SAM: Hi! LIAM: You guys are on deck, right? I’m not there. SAM: What about me? What do you mean, what aboutme? I just want to get off this fucking water. MARISHA: Should we go check in in Felderwin? SAM: I wouldn’t mind swinging by, if we’re goingthat way, just for a quick check in. I don’t know what our ultimate plan is. Do we need to go to anymore ball places? TRAVIS: No, I think we’re fine for a while. Myfirst priority was getting Jester back to her momma for a hot minute if we could. SAM: How do we do that? TRAVIS: I think we’re pretty sneaky. We’ve learnedsome tricks. Wouldn’t hurt to check out the fucking building that grows and shrinks as youapproach it. TALIESIN: I wouldn’t say no to that. LAURA: We are in a completely different boat, atleast. Ship. Ship? SAM: Ship. LAURA: We can make ourselves look different thanwhen we left. TRAVIS: If we’re heading up into the empire, wegot to go through the Wuyun Gate anyway. MARISHA: Interesting point, though. We forgedpapers for the Mistake, correct? TRAVIS: Yeah. MARISHA: Do we have papers for the Balleater yet? TRAVIS and SAM: No? MARISHA: Ownership slips? TRAVIS: In searching the captain’s quarters, wouldwe have discovered any sort of papier? MATT: Nope, everything was removed at Darktow. TRAVIS: Yep, all right, well– MARISHA: Might want to make some more– LAURA: (singing) Looks like I’ll be forging somemore. (speaking) I can do that. MARISHA: You made the first one pretty good. LAURA: Yeah. I remember how I did it, too. TRAVIS: Or we go full sail into port, crash intothe docks, Caleb sets off Fireball as a diversion, we run in and hide among the corpses of theinnocents that are scattered about. I have a problem. (laughter) LAURA: I think that’s a good plan, Captain. MARISHA: We’ll touch on Nicodranas, forge somepapers, check in with Mom. From there, head towards Felderwin? SAM: Fjord, do you have closure here on the openseas? Are you good? TRAVIS: Yeah, I’m good. MARISHA: What exactly happened down there, by theway? LAURA: Yeah, did you release it or what? TRAVIS: No. I did have another vision. It seemedlike Uk’otoa was straining against whatever confines it was in, but not released. I saw avision of another, maybe final, temple location. LAURA: Where? TRAVIS: I saw a shore with three cities along thecoast, and then a forest beyond that. Just before you got to a rocky mountain ridge, there was asingle glowing light– LAURA: Wait, a coast with three cities? That’s theMenagerie Coast. TRAVIS: It could be. I don’t really care, fornow. MARISHA: Are you afraid? SAM: Did you learn who you are? TRAVIS: No, and the thing I wanted the most was–in some of these, I saw a vision of Vandran, whether as a statue, or in a reflection, orsomething. I didn’t see anything. Nothing. TALIESIN: Vandran. Hm. LAURA: That’s his mentor. TRAVIS: I’ve run out of leads there. I don’treally know where that leaves me on that, but we’ve spent enough time on me. I don’t haveanything else to follow. Besides, there’s danger coming. LAURA: I could still send a message to the PlankKing and see if he answers. LIAM: Caleb wanders back up at this point andstarts listening. TRAVIS: Maybe we let a little bit of time go by,but thank you. MARISHA: Are you in the slightest bit concernedthat Uk’otoa might start speaking to you and putting more ideas in your head? TRAVIS: Not yet. I feel like we’re good for awhile. I couldn’t tell you why. We’ll see. It might be good to ask anyone if they know anythingabout Uk’otoa, or if there are offsetting deities or gods. He seemed incredibly powerful, and I haveto admit I was a little unnerved seeing him push against his constraints in that way. I don’t know.Maybe there’s more to be learned. LAURA: Did he talk to you? TRAVIS: Just those single words. He says thingslike “learn” and “adapt”. TALIESIN: Perhaps the tower, the strange towerthat grows. Perhaps there’s answers in there or someone who might know. TRAVIS: Could be. MARISHA: Hey, what does your falchion look like?Still have the eyeball in it? Is that still there? TRAVIS: Yeah. I summon it. MATT: You look and see there is still the singleeye that’s always been in the middle of the hilt since your encounter with the merrow that firstfound it. MARISHA: Cool, that was my favorite part. Itwould’ve been sad if it went away. LIAM: I’m sorry, I’m coming into this midway. Am Ito take it we are headed to the mainland? TRAVIS: Yes, yeah. LIAM: Oh, that’s good news. TRAVIS: Take it up into the Empire by way ofNicodranas. MARISHA: We’re going to go check in on Felderwin. LIAM: Oh, that is a good idea. So you don’t meanto pursue this any further right now? TRAVIS: No, no. And if I can, I’d like to findsome way out of it. LIAM: I was going to ask you, does it concern youto turn away from this thing’s desires? Do you worry it will abandon you? Leave you a mere mortalagain? TRAVIS: Yes, I like how I am now, and to answeryour question: I have no idea. I’ve only been in its favor. I don’t know what the other side wouldbe like. LIAM: But you intend to leave the sea for now? TRAVIS: Yeah. LAURA: Do you think he can read your thoughts? TRAVIS: No? I don’t know. LAURA: I mean, if what he’s telling you to do isgo towards the coast, that is what you’re doing, so maybe he still thinks you’re on his side. TRAVIS: (chuckles) LIAM: You don’t even know, do you? TRAVIS: No. MARISHA: Time might be on our side. Going off ofJester’s point, a hundred years can sometimes seem like five minutes for these godly-type beings.Maybe he’ll be content for a while. TRAVIS: I’m out of my depth. I have no idea, Idon’t know any more than you do. All I know is I’m ready to get off the sea for a bit. Unless I hearotherwise, all’s well. No reason to assume otherwise. SAM: Let’s go. LAURA: Do you think the Wildmother can hear yourthoughts? TALIESIN: Well, I know the Wildmother knowseverything. LAURA: So if you think something dirty, she knows?What if you’re thinking, “Oh, man, I really got to poop”? TALIESIN: (stuttering) Sure? LAURA: What if you’re thinking, “Aww man, I thinkI smell a little bit today.” “I’ve got a booger in “my nose.” TALIESIN: Now I’m thinking about that. LAURA: What if you think, “Oh, does my breathsmell bad?” TALIESIN: Does it? LAURA: No, your breath smells fine, but– TALIESIN: Are you sure? LAURA: Yeah, you smell pretty good. TALIESIN: Oh, that’s nice. Thinking about this. SAM: Speaking of stinky, Caleb, what did we get?What’s all the stuff? LIAM: I’ve been in the ocean for days and days. TRAVIS: He’s the most sterile he’s ever been. LAURA: What did we get? What did we get? LIAM: First, I want you to admit that I have beenwashed from top to bottom for a month. TALIESIN: I think you smell fantastic. LIAM: You are a nice fellow. TALIESIN: Thank you. But no, really, I actually dothink you smell better than nice. LIAM: You see? LAURA: I didn’t say you’re stinky. Nott said youwere stinky, Caleb. I think you smell like salt and fresh air. SAM: Like a douche. LIAM: Revved up. It was very interesting. I’m sotired. There is one of these things that I am going to keep. LAURA: What is it? LIAM: It’s a lucky rock. LAURA: Oh, fun. Lucky rocks are nice. LIAM: There is another thing here that I probablyshould keep, but I don’t have to. This bauble lights up and floats and lets us see in the dark. SAM: Floats, like, in the air floats? LIAM: Yeah, hovers a bit. SAM: Like a lantern. LIAM: I set it floating five feet above the deckof the ship. MATT: That glass sphere that you found beneath,you watch as Caleb speaks the command word. LIAM: It is “tawaj”. MATT: It rocks and lifts off the ground and hoversand gives off a nice, soft, white torchlight-like glow. LAURA: Does it flicker? Is it like a hue light? MARISHA: Can it change colors? LIAM: Not exactly, but– it’s dark at this point,isn’t it? MATT: Yeah, it’s probably evening. LIAM: So if I say “fajar”? MATT: Suddenly it gives off this extremelypowerful, vibrant daylight. The entire ship’s deck feels like it’s suddenly midday. LAURA: That’s really bright. TRAVIS: And you hear (cannon firing) as we giveaway our location. LIAM: Very specific use cases for that. I pluck itout of the air, and it should dim. One of you could carry it, but since I am normally blind as abat, Beauregard has her glasses– TRAVIS: Yeah, of course. SAM: What else? What else? LIAM: All right, so I will take both of thesethings. MARISHA: What’s the other thing you’re keeping, arock thing? LIAM: A lucky rock, yes. MARISHA: What’s a lucky rock do? LAURA: It’s like a pet rock, but it brings youluck. MARISHA: Does it allow you to reroll things, likethe lucky feat? Said not as Beau, just as Marisha. LIAM: No, it does not let you reroll things. MARISHA: So what’s it let you do? LIAM: This is a potion that makes one extremelystrong for a short period of time. LAURA: You should give that to Fjord. LIAM: Fjord, Yasha? TRAVIS: Fuck off. (laughter) LAURA: I go over to Fjord and hug him around thewaist and pick him up. I’m just kidding with you! TRAVIS: Ah! My back’s popping. LIAM: I honestly was thinking Yasha, and if notYasha, then you, Jester. SAM: To make you super strong. LAURA: Well, what else do you have? I don’t wantto claim that if there’s better things. LIAM: I stick that into my pocket. That’s just aloaner in my pocket; I don’t want it. Caduceus, I thought this would be good for you. I’m holding upa small stone leaf. I hand it to him. Don’t put that on the deck, please, because it will turninto an actual tree. LAURA: Will it turn into a tree in your pocket?! SAM: More than once, or just once? LIAM: It doesn’t say on here. I assume– MATT: Just once. LIAM: Oh, one time only. TALIESIN: We’ve got a tree until we need it! TRAVIS: An instant fucking big-ass tree? MATT: 60-foot-tall tree, yeah. TRAVIS: It’s like a ladder. SAM: We could get into a tower or something. MATT: Or fuck up somebody’s ceiling really bad! TALIESIN: That’s a lot of tree. LIAM: And then, Beauregard, this armor you foundis quite exquisite, but you don’t wear armor, do you? MARISHA: Not generally. LIAM: No, it’s a bit hard to do all the flippingaround that you do. MARISHA: I like full range of movement in manythings that I do. TRAVIS: Caduceus does, I do. LAURA and SAM: I do. LIAM: Yeah, it would be good for any of you. Thisparticular one was a little better at protecting you, but also you can speak to this thing and makethe armor look like anything you like. MARISHA: Oh, fuck, that would be great to have. LIAM: It would be, yeah, but it doesn’t work formonks. You can make it look like robes, or the fanciest golden armor you can think of, or aclown’s outfit, or you can make yourself look like Fjord’s clothes. It’s an instant change ofclothes. MARISHA: Everyone else can do that already! LIAM: It’s clothes, though, it’s clothes. TRAVIS: Does it come with any protective–? LIAM: Yeah, that’s the first thing I said. It’sabove average. TRAVIS: I don’t remember much. TALIESIN: Do you need above average? Are youalready bumped? LAURA: I’m in studded leather armor. SAM: As am I. TALIESIN: I’m in a breastplate. MARISHA: That’s what it is. It’s studded leather. LIAM: Studded leather, plus one. TALIESIN: Either of you would get a bonus to that. LIAM: And it’s endless, it’s limitless. Am Ireading that right? MATT: Yeah, whenever you want to, it can transformto any outfit you want. TALIESIN: Either of you would be hilarious owningthis. SAM: My armor class is less than yours. LAURA: Yeah, go for it. Plus you don’t have aDisguise Self. SAM: I do. LAURA: Yeah, you should take it. MARISHA: Pretty much everyone can disguisethemselves. SAM: Jester and Laura are fighting right now. LAURA: You should take it. SAM: I’ll look at it. We’ll play cards for it. LIAM: Should we give this to Yasha? Fjord? Jester?This potion? TRAVIS: Yeah, we’ll hold it for Yasha. I bet it’sgiant. LAURA: Let me see it. Whoa! TALIESIN: It’s one fight, just become a beast. LAURA: Holy shit! Yeah, she should have it,because that will affect her attacks, right? MATT: Anyone’s melee attacks, any of your strengthchecks. For an hour, someone’s strength becomes badass. TRAVIS: Yasha drinks it immediately. No. MATT: No! MARISHA: “I was thirsty.” TRAVIS: Whoa. TALIESIN: Yeah. TRAVIS: That’s a thing. That took me a long timeto get to that. MARISHA: For 23 hours? MATT: No, lasts for one hour. TALIESIN: Yeah, you’ll get disqualified from a lotof sports for taking that. That’s for horses. TRAVIS: Should we get to work on forging thosedocuments for when we make our way in? LAURA: Yes, yes, yes. I know what all these kindof ship documents look like! I already forged some, and also I’m around ships and stuff. MATT: For this, add your proficiency bonus for theforgery kit, as well as your dexterity to attempt to– actually, for this? Use intelligence. Thisisn’t copying documents; this is forging documentation that seems to– LAURA: You made me do this last time. You made meuse intelligence, I think. MATT: We’re doing intelligence because this istrying to create verbiage and documentation that you think will seem officious and believable. LAURA: I think, Caleb, you’re very officious. Canhe help me sound more intelligent than I am? MATT: He can aid you and you can have advantage onthe roll, if he wants to help. LAURA: Should I look at the mote, you guys? ShouldI look at the mote? TRAVIS: The mote? The shred of fate, or whatever? LAURA: Yeah. LIAM: You should take a look at the mote, and Iwill assist you, if you care. LAURA: Okay, I’m going to look at the mote ofpossibility. MATT: It gives you a mote of possibility, but itis the dodecahedron. TRAVIS: I was like, when did we start calling itthe mote? MATT: Crystal box, whatever you want to call it. LAURA: Okay, so I’m rolling intelligence? MATT: Intelligence and proficiency bonus. LAURA: At advantage, because Caleb’s helping me. MATT: Correct. LAURA: I’m going to reroll again with my mote. MATT: Okay, you roll one more d20. LAURA: That’s so much better than the two and thefour that I rolled originally. 19, plus one is 20, plus proficiency is three, so 23. MATT: Using Caleb’s aid and the time you have onthe ocean, waiting for periods of relatively calm waters– LAURA: Plus, I think I’m proficient with forgerykit. Oh, I understand. MATT: It’s all good. You do manage to create anumber of documents that both declare the ownership of the ship, create a false log ofvarious journeys that you’ve taken in the ship, as well as forging a few signatures of individuals atBrokenbank that have checked in the ship in the past. Whose name is it under? LAURA: Whose name should the ship be under? SAM: Tusktooth? LAURA: Should it be Tusktooth, or should it besomebody that’s not a pirate-y name? MARISHA: Yeah, that’s legal. LAURA: Yeah, a new sort of name. Do they know anyof your names in Nicodranas? I mean, it could be anybody. LIAM: Do we want it to be one of us? LAURA: Caleb, you could look pretty officious. TRAVIS: Yeah, but we don’t need any sort ofofficial record tying us– SAM: What about Orly? He’s a reputableNicodranian. LAURA: We would be giving the ship to Orly. TRAVIS: Orly. MATT: “Mm-hmm?” TRAVIS: In no less than 30 words, describe to mewhy you should have this ship. MATT: “Captain, I couldn’t possibly–” You see himreally wrestling with the idea. “I can certainly “caretake it in your absence. You intending tom-m-mosey on northward, right?” TRAVIS: Further inland. What I think I’m sayingis: the ship is yours once we reach Nicodranas. You can sell it, you can take care of it, whateveryou see fit. You’ve done right by us. MATT: He thinks for himself and goes, “M-mightygenerous. I can claim ownership by name only, but “we all know who the captain of this ship is. Ifyou’re going upward to the Empire, I can put the “crew to work. Earn a little bit of money for usand you. When you come on back, may be a little “bit of gold in it for you. But the ship is alwaysyours.” TRAVIS: That sounds quite agreeable, Orly. MATT: “Mm-hmm.” TRAVIS: That’ll be all. LAURA: Is Orly your first name or your last name? MATT: “First name, doll.” LAURA: What’s your last name, Orly? MATT: “Skiffback.” LAURA: Skiffback. Right. MATT: “Anyway, goodnight.” He turns around, makeshis way– TRAVIS: Bring him with us. Make him fight! LAURA: I really want a tattoo from him at somepoint. MARISHA: Yeah, did you learn how to do that fromhim? LAURA: We haven’t done it. LIAM: It costs a lot. LAURA: Well, we just need crushed gems in order tomake them. MARISHA: I tell Jester this. My parents, when theywere trying to form me into a functional member of society, thought it would be a good idea if I gotinto jewelry making, so I have a jeweler’s kit. LAURA: So you could maybe crush some jewels? MARISHA: I could crush gems, yeah. Just throwingthat out there. LAURA: Orly! MATT: You hear the heavy footfalls of him turningaround and slowly coming back to the chambers. “Mm-hmm?” LAURA: How hard is it to make a cool tattoo that’spretty? The shiny ones? MATT: “Well, you need the supplies.” LAURA: Yeah. MATT: “I told you.” LAURA: Yeah, like 2,200. MATT: “Baseline. Then depending on the kind oftattoo, the cost tends to increase.” SAM: We don’t have that kind of– LAURA: We don’t have that kind of jewels. TALIESIN: Not yet. One day. LAURA: Okay. MATT: “When you do, happy to help.” LAURA: Okay, okay, okay. Thanks, Orly! MATT: “No worryin’.” Turns around and makes hisway back out. TRAVIS: (as Orly) No worryin’, now. TALIESIN: I’m going to gather some of my stuff andgo to the crow’s nest. Get everybody– LIAM: Oh, you’re going up? TALIESIN: Yeah. LIAM: Do you like a good book? TALIESIN: I’m not going to be reading up there,but– LIAM: I don’t mean for tonight. In general. TALIESIN: I’ll admit, I’m not the best reader, butI’ve read a couple books. LIAM: But you have. One of the books that we foundin that ball of fun is about the corruption of plants. TALIESIN: I would be curious. LIAM: I thought you might be. TALIESIN: If you could leave it in my quarters,that would be most agreeable. LIAM: Surely. TALIESIN: Thank you. LIAM: Mm-hmm. I’m glad you are traveling with us. TALIESIN: Me too. I’ve never felt so helpful. I’mgoing to climb up and set up a little ritual circle in the crow’s nest and I’m going to lightsome incense and I’m going to pull out a piece of that weird fruit that I’ve been slowly growingsome mushrooms on, getting a little weird, eat a little bit of it. I’m going to meditate and thenI’m going to cast Divination. TRAVIS: Yeah, fluffy little clouds. MARISHA: Just a light Divination. LIAM: Just a happy little scry. TALIESIN: I’m going to feel out into the universeand I’m going to wait for whatever sign, whether it be verbal or otherwise. Wonder what Vandran’s doing right now. TRAVIS: (stuttering) What? MATT: The warm, soft, comforting voice, like abreeze, drifts past your ears as the hot wind, unexpectedly through a cold night, drifts pastyour shoulders. “Staying out of sight. Making “amends.” That’s all. TALIESIN: That’ll do. SAM: Intrigue! Secrets! TALIESIN: I head back down. TRAVIS: (whispering) What the fuck? Leave it toTaliesin to trip you out with shit you didn’t know about. (laughter) SAM: Oh boy. Backstory. MATT: All right. TALIESIN: I’m good. MATT: Okay. Is there anything else you wish to doduring this travel, or are we going to bring us in Nicodranas? MARISHA: I would like to go to Caleb really quickand be like: Hey. Did you happen to finish that copy of Avantika’s code for me? LIAM: Yeah. MARISHA: Can I get it? LIAM: Yeah. MARISHA: Thanks. LIAM: That it? MARISHA: Yep. I go to my chambers and for the restof the time, I want to try and memorize her code. MATT: Okay. We’ll go ahead and keep that inconsideration. It’ll take you a little bit, most of the trip. It’ll help you for a while. You mightwant to keep it with you just as a reference point. MARISHA: Okay. At some point in time, like halfwaythrough, I go back to Caleb after 24 hours with it. I was like: Okay. I’m trying to memorize this.I figured it might be useful because you know this code. You memorized this code; you have aphotographic memory. I figure if we’re ever in trouble, we can write messages in this code. Nottoo many people know it. LIAM: Ja. If you want to take some time withthat and then we could use it, sure. MARISHA: Yeah, I’ve been doing that. LIAM: Okay. MARISHA: (hesitating) Will you help me? Tutor me?It might go a little faster. LIAM: Okay. No time like the present. Let’s go getto work. MARISHA: Okay. MATT: All right, cool. You spend the rest of thetrip working together to try and memorize it to the best of your ability. It is a complicatedcipher. It’s not like: this equals a, this equals b. There’s layers to it, but you manage to get thebroad strokes of it, and you can keep that with you if you want to. MARISHA: I do. MATT: All right. TALIESIN: I’m going to read that book too, butyeah, we’ll talk about it later. MATT: Yeah, no worries. LAURA: I’m going to try to spend the time on thedeck teaching Sprinkle how to fetch an item. Like, if I show Sprinkle a button and hide it somewhere,I want Sprinkle to be able to get the button and bring it back to me. MATT: Okay. Go ahead and make an animal handlingcheck for me. LAURA: 20. MATT: Okay! Sprinkle’s still a little skittishafter some of the experiences on the seas but seems to have gotten a little more comfortable.Thankfully, there isn’t a lot of chaos since you guys left the archipelago. Over the next few days,Sprinkle seems to take to it for the button and the bits of food and treats that you provide, soyou seem to have taught a simple trick to your weasel. TALIESIN: On the Balleater. MATT: On the Balleater. Anything else? LIAM: One of the nights, while getting into bedand Nott curling up at the foot of the bed as we customarily do– SAM: We do. LIAM: Ja. I’ll wait in the dark and before Ithink that she has fallen asleep: Nott. SAM: Yes? LIAM: How do you feel about returning home? SAM: Oh. Well, I don’t know we’re 100% sure thatwe’re doing that, but if we did, it would be nice to just sort of swing through and see what–because they said there was some damage, so maybe just kind of see what damage has been done and ifanyone– you know. LIAM: So we’re just going to buzz through? There’snothing you want to check in on, or–? SAM: (stuttering) Yeah, I’d like to check in, justsee how the place is doing and, you know, if everything’s still there. You know, just make surethat everything’s okay. LIAM: Sometimes it sounds like you don’t have muchlove for home. SAM: Yeah, it’s a little complicated. I reallydidn’t like most of it. Certainly not my clan, as I’ve told you guys. You know, there’s a few folksthat I didn’t mind so much. There was one gentleman I wouldn’t mind just checking in on,make sure he’s okay. LIAM: One of your clan? SAM: (stuttering) No, just a friend of mine that Ijust wanted– LIAM: Not one of your clan? SAM: No. They’re not my friends at all. They’rebad. No, this was just this halfling man who lived in the town near where the goblins lived, and so Imaybe just want to see if he’s okay. LIAM: Oh, okay. SAM: He was very special to me and I just wantto– I’m worried about him. Do you have anyone like that? LIAM: No. SAM: Well, you do, just– LIAM: Well, not besides you. SAM: Not at home, yes. LIAM: Not besides you. That clan is all right withyou? Was there any friction that we should be–? SAM: Oh. I would assume not. No. They’re not okaywith me. I did not leave under good circumstances with them. If we pass through, I would either notwant to see them, or if we did, be ready for a fight. LIAM: Oh. So, you want to go home briefly, but notto see the clan, but just this one fellow? SAM: Mm-hmm. (stuttering) Yeah. I don’t really– LIAM: You are very– SAM: I’m sorry. I’m just so nervous about it. Idon’t want to see the clan ever again if I can help it. LIAM: So, we’re going around your home, is whatyou’re saying? SAM: Well, we might have to go through it to getpast it, but yeah. I don’t really consider myself one of them anymore and I just want to see if myfriend is okay. LIAM: Ja. Whatever you need. Whatever you need,we’ll do. SAM: This trip on the water was not fun, but– LIAM: It was pretty interesting though. You didquite well out there. I mean, obviously you were like a goblin in water, but you did quite well outthere. SAM: But, we did some good. I feel like we’re alittle closer as a group, and we got those books for you, right? And when we get some paper andsome ink, you can learn some new spells. LIAM: I am very pleased with that. SAM: Yes. LIAM: I’m also impressed with you. You have aknack. You have the knack. I would know. SAM: You would know that I have a knack forstealing things, or what? LIAM: No. Magic. SAM: (gasps) Well, yeah. I’ve found that it’spretty fun. You can make people think things that aren’t real and you can even change things fromone thing to another. You’re very good at that, aren’t you? [music] LIAM: I’m proud of you. SAM: We should sleep. LIAM: Good night, Nott. SAM: Good night. MATT: After a few days’ journey, tending to yourvarious bits of business, eventually the familiar sound of seagulls gathered near the coast meetsyour ears on the warm, sunny morning. As you wake up and glance up into the light of day past thestairs that lead to the deck, you can see the familiar sight of the harbor of Nicodranas. There,the familiar visual of the Mother’s Lighthouse, greeting you in towards the bay. Caduceus, youcan’t help be but overtaken with that comforting welcome sense, and you swear for a minute you seeher glance in your direction, but you blink– Hmm, that was strange. You prepare your papers and makeyour way in towards one of the various openings across the harbor. We’ll pick up there next weekas it is getting late. SAM: Wow, what a way to start the year. TRAVIS: Oh man. That was awesome. I’m sorry thatwe capsized the boat so fast! MATT: That was funny! TALIESIN: Like a badass. MATT: No, I’ve been sitting on that rule set whileyou guys are at sea. TALIESIN: It’s really cool, and it’s going tohappen. MATT: Mike Mearls at Wizards– he did thisUnearthed Arcana a while back in November for rules at sea and I was like: ooh, I’ll incorporatethose whenever it comes up. I did some adjustments to it, some homebrewing. I was like: maybe itwill– no. Well, maybe if they– no. Well, see, if Avantika escapes and they chased– No, she died.Okay, well, they’re going to the archipelago and there is– okay, cool. No. Okay, well. We’re backin Nicodranas. You guys get to try out the rules and tell me how that went! It’s funny. Anyway,welcome back! I missed you guys. I missed the game. We missed you guys. We’ll be back nextThursday. Then we’ll see some of you guys at the art exhibit here in LA next weekend as well. LIAM: Oh my gosh. Thursday: show! Friday: artshow! Saturday: live show! It’s going to be busy. MATT: It’s going to be a crazy week. LAURA: I’m going to be so sick of you mother– SAM: I know. MATT: If you aren’t by now, Laura, you’ve got noexcuse by now. We’ll see you guys back here next Thursday. Until then, have a wonderful week. Welove you, and is it Thursday yet? Goodnight. TRAVIS and LAURA: 2019! [music]